Lessons From My Love Life

In all honesty, I don’t believe in love because of what has happened to me. Like, yeah I have loved someone but, I don’t believe in TRUE love. Although I am still young, I don’t think I will ever feel what true love is but, when I was in the 8th grade, I entered my longest relationship of 7 months to date (I’m still young, don’t question it). I thought I was in love with him and that we would be something to call forever but, I was obviously wrong. Why did I think that an 8th grade relationship would last? I don’t know. I loved him but, love fades. The time that I was with him, I was the happiest. Then, that faded and everyday I cried because I knew he wasn’t treating me right. I knew his love faded away. I just didn’t want it to happen but, bitches will be bitches. In our happier moments, I went to his house and played games with him, went out with friends, smiled and laughed. I remember going to the city and walking around. Things then changed. We argued, cried and stopped talking once in awhile. We broke up and made up. That’s when I knew that we weren’t going to last and obviously, how is a 8th grade relationship going to last. I just didn’t want to think about the end, I wanted it to keep going. He was actually older than me by 4 years. So, yeah I regret it. Never date a senior, kids! Despite the grade difference as I entered high school, we had a class together and sometimes we would just ignore each other. Even after being mad, he tried to act like he cared but, just walked away. It left me crying in the bathroom. He broke up with me after about 3 months of hardship. I cried day and night, felt like shit and begged him to not break up with me. I wrote paragraphs and got replied back with sentences. It made me feel more like shit knowing that he did not want me back. Let me tell you, do not ever fight and beg for someone that does not have the same feelings for you. Please, let them go. Don’t hold onto them thinking of your past with them and thinking that the reason why they won’t go is because of all the good memories you have had. Those memories will now be known as a waste of time because he will leave. I mean, circumstances are different for everyone but, I believe that you must be with someone that loves you as much as you love them. No matter how much you love them, you can move on. I wish I said these words to myself back then but, I made myself look like an idiot and I will never do that again. I will never fight back for a man that doesn’t love me. If they don’t want you, let them go. It’s the best thing even though it will feel like the worst at the moment. They are not worth being in your life if they let you go so easily. I let the boy I loved go, and I was 10 times better without him. To think, why would someone hold onto someone they stopped loving? Whoever does that is a bitch. Although I was in love, I don’t think it was true love. It wasn’t real. People change and feelings fade overtime. It’s reality and you just have to go with it. Just remember, mistakes will make you better even though it was a waste of my time. That was lesson one, from my love life.