Left on 'seen' or seen to be left?

Because all of us are very much familiar with those two blue checkmarks or (almost) the scariest word "read" in our iMessages that sends a certain rush of blood through our bodies. The funny thing is, that we often find ourselves on both ends of the communication glitch. We read and don't reply or stress ourselves when the situation is reversed.

But why is it stressing us out? Does the fear of being rejected run so deeply that is disturbing our whole modern communication process? And why the hell do we always hesitate to break the 'seen' silence with the truth even when it's obviously needed?

Digital communication made life so much easier. No cap, it is the fastest way to reach out to someone yet the fastest way to avoid them. Block, restrict or simply hide, we can't deny it is the feeling of being in control that gives us the breath of fresh air in times where everything we do is kept on record.

And in times, where hard conversations are more than obviously, considered as best-to-avoid: we often interpret controling our smartphones as an invisible coat from Harry Potter, giving us the power not to hold ourselves accountable when it's time to have the big discussions out in the open.

While some might argue, it's the new technology that is keeping us connected at all times, we can't deny the fact deleting contacts is much easier on a smartphone than in real life.

Which makes me wonder: what is it teaching us? Is it really okay to be stressed about being left on "seen"?

I often heard from my parents that "back in the day, we used to fix things when they got broken, not just walk away". And it's been popping up in my mind more often than not. When did we stop fixing things and simply start blocking it? When a piece of pottery gets broken in Japan, they fix and fill it with gold. It gives an object the uniqueness, a story and a higher value. A value nobody knows how to cherish nowadays, because nobody settles for anything less than perfect.

So instead of pottery, it is us who get broken, when we realize perfection doesn't exist.

And it never did.

The ultimate lie we're told is that being honest makes things easier. Bullsh*t. Being honest is never about making things easy. It is about filling the cracks with gold; a fine metal that lasts and gives value for life. The magic is not in playing games but rather opening up, conversating about feelings and clearing up the situations that show the broader perspective. Those are the ultimate actions that give us and our character a bigger importance; they teach us lessons and write a slight blueprint on how to move forward. How to deal with similar situations in the future, and control our reactions. Hard conversations teach us self awarness as well as self worth: setting boundaries and making our voices heard. Because you can't really begin to form a good relationship (of any kind) without it. And it seems like nowadays everyone forgot all about it.

It became a blueprint nobody bothers to read anymore, since the avoidance culture became super popular and simply leaving things without closure somehow became the highly praised practice in "How To Be Cool" The Manual.

But little do we realize, leaving without closure, makes us close up.

Afraid, detached.

And you can't grow in a closed up enviroment. You have to have space. A mental space that is not filled with "what ifs" and "how comes" of our stories. So when the time comes and a certain situation keeps you wondering; give it some closure. Even when you think you are not completely ready. Even when you are not sure what the closure is. And even if you end up talking to yourself, without the other person involved. Because when you really think about it- the only hard conversation truly worth having should make your cracks fill with gold in the first place. At any time.

Being left on seen is easy and pretty common (unfortunately). But don't let that stop you from being heard.