Learn to stay out of the way

Doudou's family has been very unsettled lately.

My husband's relatives went to the city to see a doctor and had no place to stay, so they stayed at their house temporarily.

This is a good intention to let people stay, but the relatives are good and do not treat themselves as outsiders.

A while the food is too salty to eat, a while the ground is too dirty to look down, but not to do it themselves, to Doudou angry enough.

These two days Doudou and her husband have been discussing sending their relatives to the hospital, not staying at home.

The family's relatives are typically unaware of their position and have gotten it wrong.

No matter who you interact with, you have to take the right amount of time and relaxation, otherwise, it will be easy to dislike.

A smart adult, who wants to get along well with others, must learn the following 3 kinds of behavior:

01

Face friend, keep a sense of proportion, to make a virtuous cycle of feelings

Many people think that friends talking to each other are close, in fact, not.

The official is still difficult to break family matters, if the next person also rashly intervenes, I'm afraid that the complexity of things will go up a level.

The most important thing is that it will hurt feelings.

The variety show "very perfect" had a female guest Qingqing made such a mistake.

The female guest talked about the concept of love and confessed to persuading a young couple to split. Because the young couple often has friction and quarrel, the woman to her crying in front of her, and she is directly persuaded to split.

The next day, the man knew about it, called over to ask about the situation, but also by her a squeeze, directly scolded and cried.

Since then, a once loving young couple completely separated.

A male guest hit the nail on the head and pointed out that her behavior of interfering in matters between the couple as an outsider was unacceptable.

The process of love will inevitably have a quarrel, which is precisely proof that the two sides are getting along.

The "friction" in the eyes of outsiders, maybe the couple's feelings deepen, and understanding deepens.

If you as a friend repeatedly ignore the proportion, based only on their views to take care of family matters for others, sooner or later will be disgusted

Kaka also once liked to persuade separation and not peace.

But some people, today came to cry about the day can not live, a turn of the head and make-up.

Only true feelings to persuade the separation of Kaka is not a person inside and outside.

Day after day, Kaka finally put down the persuasion and persuasion of the heart, quietly do a listener.

The relationship between friends is not close, not far.

We can accompany each other through some of life's journeys, and give each other care.

But not into each other's lives, pointing out some, and then throwing down a mess and leaving

As a friend, the best measure is to accompany and not interfere.

02

In the face of relatives, empty a little distance, to always close

The boundaries between friends are quite clear, but the boundaries between family members are often unclear.

A popular topic on Weibo is: Can you accept your other half checking up on you?

Netizens gave different answers, one of them bluntly said that they can accept checking up on them, but they will feel untrusted.

The act of checking up on a person, which occurs many times in life, can easily trigger the over-the-limit effect.

The so-called over-the-limit effect refers to rebellious psychology that arises when a person has been stimulated too many times on a psychological level.

This effect was triggered by the excessive attention of Ludi's mother in the TV series "The Beginning", and the parent-child relationship was once very tense.

Ludi has suffered from asthma since childhood and is physically weak.

Lu's mother was therefore very uneasy, and even though Ludi was already working as an adult, she still demanded that he must come home at the required time, follow a strict process of sterilization, and avoid exposure to all factors that could trigger asthma.

But the more so required, the heavier Ludi's rebelliousness.

He not only rented a house in the animation city itself to raise cats but was also excitedly ready to join the protagonist group, together with the "save the world".

The reason why Ludi is rebellious is that his mother is pushing him too hard.

When the mother took up all of Ludi's space, the child will not be able to breathe.

Only by leaving a little space alone for the close ones can everyone digest their emotions and smile again in their little world.

In this regard, Ludi's father has done a good job.

He doesn't stop Ludi from having a cat, and will even secretly help take care of it. He would subtly keep everything within his grasp, understanding and respecting Ludi.

True human interaction should know how to empty the distance between people, distance produces beauty, and appropriate leave white to let love mature

03

Face yourself and learn to reflect to spur yourself on to continuous progress

People always hang the interaction in the mouth, but it is easy to forget to get along for the longest time is their own.

Tzu said, see the wise, see the unwise, and self-reflection.

Being alone and self-reflection is the journey we must go through in life, in this journey, we can discover our essence and strengths.

The only way to make the most of our abilities is to make good use of this time.

Helen Keller lost her sight and hearing at birth, which gave her a lot more time alone than normal.

But after she felt the world through her sense of touch, she used that time to keep pushing herself to grow, struggling to read, read, and write.

She eventually wrote "If You Give Me Three Days of Light" and "The World I Live In", and was awarded the Presidential Medal of Freedom, the highest honor for American citizens, in 1964.

It is no coincidence that Rousseau, the famous French thinker, was also a great man who was good at reflecting on solitude.

He spent his entire life in turmoil, but that did not stop him from examining his past self and writing a literary masterpiece like Confessions.

As the Analects of Confucius says, "I reflect on myself three times a day."

Only through constant self-reflection in solitude can we discover our shortcomings in time, check the gaps and improve ourselves.

As the saying goes, life is like a ruler, there are degrees of being human.

I deeply believe that.

With people as friends, do not rashly interfere with the lives of others; with people as relatives, empty relaxation distance; look at their own body, constantly reflecting on the correction, to gain growth.

Only by grasping the measure and scale between people and themselves, can we obtain long-lasting beauty and satisfaction.