Late but brave : Overcoming body insecurity and loving the body you live in

When I clocked 13 and fully exposed to puberty, I began to feel insecure about my body. I felt I was slimmer than required and hence spent money on fattening products. I also began to eat six times higher than usual and it gave my parents concern.

I was to ashamed to telll my parents about my insecurities or how I was being bullied in school for being too thin. My peers would stare at me and drop comments like “ add up some calories girl”, “ jeez, you look so thin”, or “ No one would find you attractive this way”. It worsened, and I began to always feel bad.

From the neighborhood, to school and at even fun parks I was bullied but i never raised an alarm. I’d only find a secluded corner and cry my eyeballs out. All the products I used to help gain some fats weren’t manifesting on my body and neither did my excessive consumption. I only got sick from doing all of those.

I began to think I was cursed, that I wasn’t good enough to look attractive or get as as fleshy as the girls around me. After my 16th birthday, I attempted suicide . I tried poisoning myself but was luckily found by my mom before the poison began to take an effect on me. I woke up at the hospital in tears and I was so much ashamed of myself. My mom tried not to be criticize me and I was able to tell her everything that was going on.

She visited my school and reported the matter to the authorities, those who bullied me where threatened with expulsion so I was able to excape their heart piercing words but not the preying eyes. Even though my mom also took it upon herself to visit the parents in our neighborhood whose children had been cruel to me it didn’t change that I was still insecure.

I never stopped using the products I got and I also continued eating heavily. Soon , this actions started manifesting in my body. I was so happy to see result so I even increased my intake of both the products and high level calorie foods. I started getting so fat in weeks, my mom noticed this and suspected a foul play. She found out about the products and even though I had stopped using them , I didn’t stop increasing. In two months, I added so much pounds.

I thought comments would change at school with my increment. They did, but only for worse. Some of my classmates would laugh and my jokes about me being very fat. Even the guys would tell me to my face how unattractive they found me. Some would say “ From so thin to do fat , don’t you ever maintain a state girl” and everyone would laugh. So I was back to square one.

I was also not comfortable with my newly found body. I realized that I wasn’t as healthy and so free at activities with it like I was in my former self. Suddenly I wanted my thin body back and I began to feel even more sad that I felt when I wasn’t as fleshy.

My mom got me to see a therapist who helped me a lot with my whole wellbeing. I also got into the gym to maintain a healthy physique and I got my confidence back. Long before, I wasn’t able to stare people in the face or look at them cos I would worry that they might notice my body status. But all that changed. Soon I didn’t care about what any thought about my body . It was mine and I was going to flaunt whatever physique I had to th best of my knowledge.

I was finally able to over my insecurities. Please do not ever feel bad about any part of yourself, you would only be hurting the perfect body God had endowed us with.