LAST MOMENTS

The colours morphed into blue and purple with hues of pink, leaving him with a light-headed feeling in a supposed world that had no pauses. Soon these colours would slowly change back to a void and lonely black which would ultimately signal the unwelcome news that he was back to reality.

Back to the hospital bed where he lay, breathing on his own while he could as the by-product of his habits slowly damaged his body. And as fate would have it, he was listed as a DNR (Do Not Resuscitate), which meant that any slight crisis would send him to the great beyond.

If there was anything like that.

Beside his bed, Nora sat with her head resting on her hands which were neatly folded on the side of his bed. She was fast asleep and obviously seething from the shocking discovery that her husband of 24 years had willingly signed a form that freed medical personnel from reviving him if he went into any form of respiratory trouble. Up until now it had seemed that they shared everything together - no secrets, no hidden drama, everything out in the open.

Apparently, she had been wrong.

And Ron was deeply sorry. She was a good woman and had given him 4 strong boys who made him the proudest father ever. But his addiction to meth, which he had kept well hidden for the last 10 years always stayed by, gnawing slowly at his being - and his conscience.

But the high moments were so comforting. They were there when he had lost the $50,000 deal that he could not bring himself to tell Nora. They were there when he had to beat himself for almost sleeping with a prostitute he met during Vander's birthday. Vander had been his best friend until he had been found lifeless in his car on a busy Tuesday morning.

Coroner's report showed a massive cardiac arrest. He had died immediately.

Ron's mind traveled back to the hospital room where his wife had just begun to stir. He knew he had to come clean about so many things. The doctor had privately told him his condition was unpredictable and he could have a final breathing episode anytime from now. Nora raised her head, red puffy eyes obscuring the beauty of her face.

"Nora, I am so sorry" he began but could not continue. The woman who had shared his heart with his addiction looked so bone-weary but he knew better. She was as tough as nails.

"Let's not dwell on that, dear" she said, shocked at her own voice. Se sounded twice her own age.

"I mean, I really disappointed you Nora. You don't deserve all this. You don't deserve me. There's so much I need to tell you". Was he ready for this?

"How do you mean?" Nora asked, looking at him with a half-despair-half-questioning look.

"I..... Nora it's not....I don't know how to say this, but I am not on admission because I got pneumonia. Please forgive me.....I did this to myself. I have been using meth for the past 10 years".

Nora's eyes looked quiet but distant. "I know" she said.

Ron's head nearly jumped out of the room. "What did you just say?"

Nora's eyes seemed to travel years back. Gathering strength, she pushed her chair backwards and stood up. She slowly made her way to the window where she watched the endless city traffic snake by without an end in sight.

Turning her back to the scene, she faced her husband directly, eyes gleaming with tears.

"You heard me right, Ron. I am aware that you have been using".

TO BE CONTINUED