Just a Spark

In a small town on the border of Idaho and Wyoming is where I saw him. He was a heavyset weathered man with a gun attached to his hip shoving clothes into a commercial washing machine in the same laundry mat we had come to wash our ski clothes in the middle of a week-long ski trip. It was apparent this man had little, yet he felt the need to have a gun strapped to his belt in a one-stoplight town that catered to skiers from a popular resort nearby. Being from Montana, I am not usually triggered by a man carrying a gun but, on this cold November evening, I was instantly filled with genuine curiosity that made me want to know this man's story. However, as a general rule, I don't usually strike up conversations with strange men, especially men with the need of carrying weapons in a place where the biggest threat seemed to be possible flooding from a malfunctioning washing machine. Even if I had the courage to break my rule and approach this stranger, Covid was ravishing the northwest, making conversations with strangers even more challenging. Therefore, I will never know this man's story, yet my imagination seems to want to attach a history to him. This curiosity has provided me with the motive of trying to understanding my own curiosity.

Why do I really want to know? What will I gain by understanding this man's reason for requiring protection for so little? This is when the little voice within reminds me, he does not need protection for the things that he possesses, instead, he needs it as protection for the most valuable thing we all own...life.

At this time, it also occurs to me that a person who needs to carry a tool with the power to destroy life as much as it has the power to protect it is probably filled with emotions of chaos and stress. I am not sure if such a person can feel at peace in a life that needs to be protected with a gun.

This is where I turn inward and start to explore my desire to attach a history in order to understand where his chaos began and that is when I become overwhelmed with the realization that there is something I recognize in him. I slowly begin to become aware that the lack of peace I see in him is also found somewhere in me.

Now, this is where the real work begins. I am not a stranger to inner peace. I am not a master but I do have a consistent meditation practice and have sought out the lessons of various spiritual teachers. Even with this spiritual exploration, I still feel chaos surging within. I feel like the lack of peace I am feeling comes from a strong desire to spread a spark of peace to those who desperately need it.

The challenge that exists is finding others who are in need and ready to find this spark of peace. We are all on our own epic journey of life and we are all in very different chapters of our stories. How do I find others who are ready to reconnect with themselves? The short answer is, I don't know. Yet my desire to connect with others and help them find even the smallest spark of inner peace should not be ignored.

If I could have shown that man in the laundry mat how to connect to himself on a deeper level for only a moment, would that help him crave another moment of peace, therefore, igniting his own journey to find more peace in his life? Would he move towards a less chaotic existence to where he didn't need to wear the gun into the laundry mat; maybe he could leave it in the truck for the short time required to get his clothes clean? This part of the story will always be a mystery. However, it is beyond doubt that I am about to embark on an adventure reminiscent of a traveler's poem from long ago. Stay tuned as I continue to explore the serendipitous moments that guide me further down an unknown path.