James Bond Review

Let's face it, it's a great franchise but maybe if he was an actual Spy I don't think he'd last a week.

Let's break down what a great spy should have:

• Stealth
• Charm
• Charisma
• Intelligence

Those are just a few traits you would expect a spy to have, no matter what agency they work for, right? We can all agree on those basic traits.

I think the character of James Bond has Charisma, but out of those four things, I am pretty sure that is the only one Mr. Bond has.

If you've seen any of the James Bond films, you know something is off when the villain glances at him and says:

"Hello, Mr. Bond."

Isn't the point of being a spy is to be discreet? When literally every single villain on the planet knows who you are, why would your super secret spy agency still send you out for field work? They covered this in the Get Smart movie which was absolute garbage, except for the Rock. He was hot as the bad guy. Mmm.

Moving on from that, at least that movie acknowledged that a spy has no use in the field once their identity is compromised.

So what the actual Fork is Bond still doing in the field?

It's not like he has super powers or anything unique about him either. He has gadgets that Q needs to explain to him in triplicate how to use and even then, I'm pretty sure its mainly luck that Bond doesn't die from misusing them.

Also, I'm pretty sure he doesn't make enough money to keep replacing those Aston Martins.

So, to recap a bit.

James Bond doesn't have any real world smarts to help him through these missions, literally everyone on the planet knows who he is on site, he has enough charm to lure any female side character into bed but not to out maneuver the villains plans, and he manages to skate by on good luck for the primary portion of his missions.

And let's talk about his blatant misogyny.

I remember when I was a kid and James Bond was a sex symbol, but that was when Pierce Brosnan was first cast and no one had seen his movies yet. I did not see the appeal to him being Bond.

However I could see him as a sex symbol when I heard about Daniel Craig being cast as 007.

Oh, I was so excited for Casino Royale, my mom took me after school a week after it came out and it was the first non-kid marketed movie I saw in theaters.

I have to say, I loved the movie but I did not love the ever present sexism.

After I watched it, I went back through my dads vhs collection (yes, we had them all on vhs, and yes I am that old) and watched a couple of the older versions of the famous agent.

Especially with the versions of James Bond played by Sean Connery, I could not believe how vapid some of these women seemed. Even if they didn't seem to have any interest in Bond, if he so much as winked at them, suddenly they were both naked in bed.

I'm sorry, but if a guy just told me that we were gonna fork and started grabbing at me the way Bond seems to do sometimes, his johnson would be removed. Similar to Fresh the movie.

Side Note: I haven't seen Fresh but I've seen people react to that scene and I don't feel like I need to see it because I lived it through them LOL

Back to the point, Bond is not a great spy.

He shouldn't be revered as a great spy, even in cinema, we just all have to accept that and move on.