It is Possible to Be Single and Happy

I’m closer to forty now than thirty. I’m single, and by the look of things, I’ll likely remain single for the rest of my life. And my aunt just told me that I’d ruined my life… because I’m single??? I mean, sure, her mentality is stuck in the '60s, but still…

Anyhow. If you had prophesized this current life to me a couple of decades ago, I probably would have cried at the prospect of this supposed “bleakness” of my future. But, having lived as long as I have, I now know that having a simple life is still much better than having a life full of drama, even if it seems empty to other people — people who have nothing to do with my life but are fast to pass judgment anyway.

One of my ex-boyfriends put it rather impudently — “with you, it’s either your way or the highway.” But honestly, if my way is better, then why complain?

By now, if you think that I have issues, then sure, maybe I do. But you know what? I’m cool with having issues. I mean, find me one person who doesn’t have issues, yeah? Most relationships end on a bitter note these days anyway, so if I’d rather be unattached forever, can you blame me?

Alright, now let’s get to the title. It’s a bit of a clickbait because people these days seem to be obsessed with “happiness.” Hence I surmised that putting “happy” in the title would get me more views. Personally, I’m allergic to the word “happy.” Who’s dumb enough to be happy these days anyway, hmm? Have you looked around lately? The world is falling apart, man, wake UP!

What I can say is that I’m “content” with my life. And that’s big! Sure, there are days when everything sucks. But at least, they do not suck because of my lack of a life partner.

Anyhow, I digress. This story is about how I stay content with my life and the choices I have made, even though I’m without a partner.

I do not give a shit about what people think of me

Well, to be fair, I never really gave much shit about what people thought of me. Even when I was a kid, I couldn’t care less about people’s perceptions of me. You could say it’s been a survival mechanism. I was never much of a likable person to begin with. My mother was always mad at me. My father was never home. And I had no friends. I remember my mom yelling at me one day, demanding to know why I never laugh. I mean, she was asking me why I never laugh while yelling at me, looking livid, ready to strike a blow. You’d think this woman should already know the answer to her question.

Anyhow, my point is, I was a gloomy kid. And gloomy kids are not popular. The only way to not feel any more hopeless than I already did was by letting go of my expectations of other people. The result was that I stopped caring about what people thought of me. And while it may sound sad to some of you, guess what? I don’t give a rat’s ass about what you think!

I do my best to enjoy my day to the fullest

I’m privileged, I know. I do what I love — I study engineering and write blog posts. I’m also in good health, so there’s that. And I make enough money to afford the little pleasures of life — a nice room in a nice house in a nice neighborhood which I share with two other wonderful women and a dog, I have not one but two laptops, and seven different cameras to sustain my very expensive hobby, etc. So yes, it is easy to live every day to its fullest for a person in my position. But here’s the thing, when you’re busy doing what you love, it becomes that much easier to not even think about needing or even wanting a partner. Because you know that? Another human being will always disrupt your lifestyle, and I’m the kind of person who’d rather live my life to the fullest than be with another person who wouldn’t allow me to live my life to the fullest. Does that make me sound selfish? Well, guess who doesn’t give a shit?

I’ve got a vibrating wand for those itchy nights

They do the job, and honestly, that’s all that matters.

One or two good friends are enough for that emotional support I seek from time to time

Being the kind of person I am, I don’t have a lot of friends. But the few that I do have are keepers forever. They get the code I live by — respect, live, and let live. They know they can come to me when they need a pair of ears and that I’ll lend them my ears without judgment. In exchange, they offer me the same.

I do not equate womanhood with motherhood

Or humanhood (is that even a word? Grammarly doesn’t appear to think it is…) with parenthood. I almost became friends with this guy who once told me that parenthood makes the human experience “whole.” Like… WTF does that even mean? Am I supposed to think that my life isn’t whole unless I’ve given birth to a little human? Only a man would proclaim such absurdity. OK, maybe some women would too. I suppose it’s a good thing I don’t give a shit about what others think, huh. And also, whew!!! Can you believe that guy and I [almost] became friends? What a save!

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So yes, these are the things that keep me “happy” or, if you’re me, content. My point is, even though my aunt told me just a few days ago that my life has no meaning now that I’m in my late thirties and without any “prospects,” I happen to think my life is a whole lot better than hers with her cheating husband and whatnot. I’m self-sufficient, I do what I love, and my days are peaceful. Am I writing this piece because I’m feeling bitter? Possibly. But here’s a fun fact — not all of us are wired to be in a relationship or even want to be in a relationship. So like, I don’t know… leave us alone? Because even though we don’t give a shit, it still gets tiring to be attacked over and over simply because we have chosen to live differently than most others.

I exit in peace.