Is this love?

“Thank you”, he says to me, “I now know what it feels like to be in love again.

To wake up in the morning with your lovely name on my lips and my arousal waiting for attention. Can you imagine the sweet pleasure of finding a secret place and masturbating to thoughts of you. Ah love is so exciting so invigorating, making me feel young again, ready to take on the world….”

I was nonplussed, to me this is not real love, this is lust or at the most infatuation.

Love is so much more than waking up aroused at the thought of someone, so much more than just the physical.

I was not sure whether I should take this as a compliment or not. I realized he was not being derogatory he genuinely believed that he was in love with me. In his way he thought he was complimenting me.

I think my reaction must have disappointed him, because I did not respond except to smile wryly – sometimes it is a good thing people cannot read my mind.

What surprised me the most about this announcement is that it came from a highly educated, widely travelled, well read gentleman in the later years of his life. Surely by this time he would have learned what love really is?

He should have learnt that it is not the butterflies in the stomach when you hear that special someones name.

Not the pulsating of your heart at the thought of that person.

Not the arousal that you get from hearing them speak.

It is so much more than these.

These don’t last, the clammy hands, the stutters, the dry mouth all disappear as you get to know the person and in their place comes trust, acceptance, consideration and yes, lust can be a part of it.

Love is unconditional.

It is being there for the other person with no thought to what you will be receiving.

It is putting the other person first, making sure their happiness is of paramount importance.

Love is accepting the other person fully, faults, kinks and all, knowing that everything, both good and bad, about the person makes them the one you love.

Love is trusting someone with your innermost thoughts, your body, your dreams, your wildest fantasies.

It is being willing to share yourself completely.

When the physical is no longer possible there better be something stronger to keep your love for each other alive.

If we are realistic, we will understand that the physical will not always be there. Life interferes, health deteriorates, age takes its toll and if there is not a solid foundation then what we thought was love becomes ashes…

So, to the gentleman who thought he was in love with me, I will say this. Until you take the time to get to know who a person really is. What motivates her, interests her, hurts her, pleasures her and until you are willing to show her your true self, warts and all, you will have no idea what real love is.

I hope someday you will experience it, if you think what you feel now is invigorating…then unconditional love will blow your mind.

Unconditional Love

Seemingly indescribable

Seemingly unattainable

To the selfish – unimportant

To the selfless – a way of life

To the selfish – pleasure expected

To the selfless – pleasure given

Unconditional love – total acceptance

Total devotion to another’s happiness

Not a prison – not a cage

Freedom from chains – freedom from bondage

Freely given, freely received

Unconditional love – unearned, undeserved

Unconditional love – A precious gift from the heart.