Is Having Friendships Crucial?

by Deana Ramsey 26 days ago in friendship

Do you really need friends to help guide you through life?

Is Having Friendships Crucial?

Throughout school I always felt like there was pressure that you needed an army of friends. Friends that would back you in any situation, maybe even help avoid any bullying if that was to occur—the more friends, the cooler you were, right? You couldn't be more wrong.

I feel I was one of the few that actually enjoyed my schooling years. I had friends from all circles; however, I never relied on anyone to feel a certain type of importance or acceptance—maybe that's how I avoided any altercations, arguments, or bullying.

As you go through school, it's some of the most important years for self growth, understanding yourself and of course we all go through puberty. There was always the overwhelming pressure (mainly pressure you placed on yourself) to be accepted by everyone and anyone, because if you weren't then you were referred to as the 'weird' or 'strange' kid. I never felt I had to be anyone but myself; however, there were some situations where it felt easier to just do what everyone else was doing, to avoid drama. I feel that's where many young girls go wrong. Instead of standing up for themselves or walking away from friends that they feel are leading them down a path they may not agree with, they conform to what everyone else is doing and become the 'follower'. I understand it's never easy to walk away from friends, but it's important to understand that true friends won't bully or force you into doing something you may not feel comfortable with. You are allowed to disagree with choices they make & walk away from them if you don't believe what they do or say is right.

Once school is over, in many instances you don't see or speak with a lot of the 'friends' from school—possibly only updates through Facebook (haha). So a lot of the drama or pressure from being able to fit in in school is no longer relevant. You no longer see them everyday, they do their thing and you do your's. You then come to the realization that it's impossible to please everyone, as we all have our own morals and beliefs. We all want different things in life, different paths, dreams & goals. And being friend's with everyone or pleasing everyone is no longer your priority. You understand what friends are - they should make you laugh, lift you up, believe in you but allow you to make your own choices, allow you to grow as a person and follow your dreams.

I'm now 27 and have fewer friends than I have ever had before, yet I couldn't be happier. I have friends from school that I no longer speak or associate with because it was consuming my energy in a negative way. My priority is my self, my growth, my happiness. The people I call my friend's now are people that don't necessarily have the same dreams or goals as me but allow me to make my own decisions, they respect me, believe in me & are happy for whichever choice I make in life. And I feel the same towards them. If they ask for my opinion, I give them my honest thoughts on the situation or person; however, I never force my opinion onto them, that is their decision on the choice they make. Because it's their life, not mine.

You are your first priority, you should be your own best friend first. You don't need friends; but people that impact your life in a positive way are the ones you should keep close. If you find yourself in friendship or relationship where you're constantly questioning your movements & choices based on how others may feel, it may be best for you to part ways with that person.

Deana Ramsey
Deana Ramsey
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