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INTJ and INFJ - We Are Candy

How the Sweet and Sour Elements of Each Type Work Together to Form Great Relationships

By Kelly ThundercloudPublished 3 years ago 5 min read
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Every romance is just like candy! They range from the mouth-watering truffle to the bitter black licorice. But how do we sweeten up our relationships to become the sugary pair that we envision for our futures?

INTJ and INFJ are two of the most rare MBTI types. They are both intuitive introverts with a strong tendency to be highly intelligent and while they share much in common, they have one critical difference that separates them from one another. This difference, when used properly, can lead to a sweet, tasty companionship that could last a lifetime.

Let's begin with a look at each type.

The INTJ. The Mastermind. The Engineer. The strategist who reveals his outer coating as a hard shell, making you pucker from the sour stench! You may feel as if he is trying to build a wall between the two of you, so as to not let you inside his real deep thoughts. You will likely sense a cold vibe with very little emotion.

This is the natural defense mechanism of the INTJ. His feelings are locked deep inside and exposed only to those whom he truly trusts. The ooey gooey sweetness of his heart must be earned slowly, by licking away the outer coating - much like a Tootsie Roll inside a pop that has the pucker level of Sour Patch Kids. This inner soft core is extremely special to the INTJ and is worth protecting. He feels as though this part of him is vulnerable, so he will use his armor to defend it from anyone he cannot fully trust. All that the outsiders see is his sour shell.

This can be very lonely. Often times, the INTJ feels as if he is standing at a brick wall where no one understands or notices that he has feelings - feelings that are deep and personal. He walks the line between acceptance and defense.

The INFJ. The Advocate. The Empath. The Savior who shows her compassion to all human beings! She will shower you with her giving and caring demeanor, no matter who you are. People are her focus and making sure to bring humanitarian efforts to the world is her top priority. You will find her to be tender, warm and easily approachable. You will feel much comfort in opening up yourself to her almost instantly!

Giving comes naturally to the INFJ. Her soft, abundant chocolate shines bright for the world to see and people will flock to get a taste. But even at Trick or Treat, it is possible to eat all the candy! The INFJ's generosity is often eaten up too quickly by people who are unwilling to give back. Over time, this yummy chocolate shrinks and the INFJ reveals her tiny red cinnamon ball. The surprise comes as a slap to the taste buds without warning. The sudden bitter spice makes no sense to the consumer. She becomes cold, door-slamming and careless!

This ends up leaving the INFJ with yet another failed relationship with someone who tried to milk her for all that she had. She is left with no choice but to show her ugly core. She cries and screams, hating the person she's become, wishing she never let it get that far.

Balancing Strengths and Weaknesses

Each type, when in a relationship with one another, can easily use their strengths to protect and value the other's weaknesses.

INFJ's have outstanding X-Ray vision! They can see through people - even people who are doing everything in their power to block out their true selves. This comes in handy with the INTJ's hidden emotions. The INFJ is likely to understand that the INTJ is hiding some deep feelings and not only will she see the feelings, but she will be interested in them! She is the owl who takes only two licks and a bite to get to the Tootsie Roll center. Then, with her loving and giving character, the INTJ is likely to trust, open up and shatter his brick wall.

For the INTJ, it is important that someone understands him. The INFJ is able to defend the fact that he indeed does have feelings, but also, she understands that he needs to put up his sour shell to protect them. The INTJ will feel loved, wanted and understood - Someone is able to feel his core and nurture it.

Once the INTJ feels comfortable around his partner, he will soon catch onto the fact that she is too generous with too many people. He will help her to understand that not everyone deserves her generosity, especially if it is a one-way street. He will be able to guide her with her friends and family and use his sour shell to protect her popular chocolate. He will turn to his own natural defense mechanism to teach her how to properly defend her emotions, while still fueling her lovely goodness.

The INFJ will become better aware of the people around her who are abusing her continuous giving. The INTJ can help her discern those who will take vs those who will share. Her bitter red cinnamon ball may never have to be revealed again!

Together, the two types can build a long-lasting romance based on the balancing of opposites. The INFJ helps the INTJ reveal some of his soft core, while the INTJ keeps the INFJ from giving away too much of her sugar. When two mature, healthy individuals learn to work to complement their differences, a bounty of sweetness will surely to lead to a beautiful relationship!

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