Insane Things King Charles III Demands of His Servants

It’s good to be the king!

King Charles III has been waiting a very long time to take the throne - at 73 years old, he was the oldest heir-in-waiting in British history. But as Britain mourns its beloved Queen, Charles is ready to step up and take on the role he’s been training for his whole life. And that will mean some changes in Buckingham Palace. Serving the Royal Family always means some…peculiarities. The entire institution is full of arcane rules about etiquette, and every staff member is required to know the ins and outs of catering to each member of the family. After all, it wouldn’t do to have a Royal make their bed or pull out their chair. These are just a few of the rules those serving Buckingham Palace have to follow.

It’s a huge mansion, and that means a lot of cleaning. But if the servants were hoping to use modern conveniences to make that easier, don’t count on it. The Royals want to wake up to a clean castle, but they also want to get their sleep. That’s why vacuuming is prohibited in the palace until 10 AM, so the servants usually wind up sweeping the carpets clean instead. And they can’t even use those carpets! The only people allowed to use the centre of the carpets to traverse the palace are the Royals themselves, so the staff walks at the open space at the side. You wouldn’t want the staff leaving footprints on the carpet when the King or Queen might want to use them later. And that’s to say nothing of mealtime.

The Royals can be picky, and each member has their preference. So the servants of the palace frequently use maps to make up each plate. Prince Phillip, the late Queen’s husband, reportedly liked his oat cakes directly next to his honey for easy dunking, so each mealtime is likely like plotting a military deployment for the staff. And one item doesn’t show up too often - but it will soon! When the new King takes office, there’s one traditional item that he’s supposed to eat for good luck. It’s a fish dish - but it’s not good ol’ fish and chips! Rather, King Charles III will be chowing down on Lamprey Pies, made from a primordial-looking invasive fish with a mouth full of teeth. The fish has been eradicated from UK waters, so it’ll be imported from the United States. That’s a whole lot of fuss for a pie that looks like it could bite you back. And everyone needs to be ready to move at a second’s notice. When Queen Elizabeth stood, everyone in her presence stood as a sign of respect. That’s likely to continue with King Charles III in charge - but not everything will. The new King has a reputation as a fussy, particular man, and that means the castle staff will likely be memorizing a whole new set of rules now that he’s in charge.

But they’ve had time in training. Charles has been a royal for his entire life, and that means the staff has had time to acquaint themselves with his quirks. This includes a dislike for doing anything in particular. When he takes a bath, he wants his bath towel pre-folded for him to wrap it around his body. When he gets up in the morning, he wants his clothes in a perfectly aligned order - including the left and right socks being directly in front of him. He doesn’t even put toothpaste on his brush himself - the staff carefully squeezes it out, and he wants exactly an inch's worth of toothpaste. There was a reason he was nicknamed “The Pampered Prince”. Other curious demands included having his shoelaces ironed every morning - because it wouldn’t do to look even the slightest bit rumpled - and when he takes a bath, he wants the bath to be tepid. And he likes his comfort even when he’s travelling.

Charles reportedly took his toilet seat and a brand of velvet toilet paper with him whenever he was visiting another country or city - because you never know what’s lurking in the bathroom. Actually, given the scary one-ply toilet paper in so many high school bathrooms, that one might be sort of reasonable. And it’s not the only thing he takes with him. Because Charles does not trust what you’re serving for breakfast. He may be a rather fussy man - and likely to get even more so now that he’s King - but Charles has humble tastes in some ways. He likes a simple breakfast, including special breakfast cereals and dried fruit. But he does like one particular indulgence - he has a selection of six kinds of honey that he uses with his breakfast cereal, and he takes it with him in a breakfast box wherever he visits. No full English fry-up for this man! In general, his diet includes quite a few peculiarities.

Before his usual breakfast of cereal, dried fruit, and honey, he eats a single plum. But the way it’s served is a strange curiosity. He wants two plums to be served to him every morning, and then he examines them and eats only one of them! The plums come from his garden, and no one knows why he chooses to only eat one. But the other one isn’t wasted - it goes back in the plum jar and may be served to him another day as an option. No one knows how many days a plum is kept in the rotation until he gets thrown out! But at breakfast, that’s one of his few indulgences. Maybe Charles is a believer that you need to start the day by flushing out your system, but his breakfast is fairly spartan, with an emphasis on whole-grain cereals. His breakfasts typically include a lot of flaxseed and wheat germ, to the point that his son Prince William jokingly called his father’s breakfast spread “the bird table”. But the rest of the day is very different. Charles pays attention to what he eats, and that includes his staff bringing in organic produce and locally foraged mushrooms - which is probably a very different duty than what those serving the new King were probably expecting.

His large estate contains woods filled with mushrooms, and he’s even been seen rooting around the woods himself with a wicker basket. But now that he’s taking up residence in the royal palace, the odds are this task will fall to his staff. But that doesn’t mean he doesn’t have his treats. Charles likes some surprisingly humble foods - once in a while. He’s fond of cheesy baked eggs and biscuits with cheese, but only once in a while. So the staff is likely a bit relieved to be able to make some good old-fashioned British comfort food. And when it comes to eating eggs, he reportedly wants them boiled for exactly four minutes before being served. And the staff might get a surprising break when it comes to Charles’ orders. Charles surprisingly skips lunch most days, or at least he did as Prince. He follows a particular routine of a small breakfast, followed by working through lunch and not eating, followed by a full-on Royal feast for dinner that fuels him for the rest of the day. Charles is a practical man, and he reportedly views lunch as a luxury that gets in the way of important work. And Charles has some strongly-felt convictions that affect his diet.

While Queen Elizabeth II was doggedly apolitical, feeling it improper to weigh in on current issues, Charles was never so shy. Particularly, he’s very active on the issue of climate change - and doesn’t seem inclined to stop now that he’s King! This affects his diet as well, as he’s chosen to only eat meat or fish five days a week, and dairy and eggs only six days. These daily breaks from the more-indulgent foods raise attention to the meat and dairy industry’s impact on the climate - and no doubt leave the staff scrambling a bit to figure out suitable vegetarian meals for the monarch’s dinner. He’s also rather particular about which meat is used, making sure it’s raised sustainably and grass-fed. But there’s one thing he will never eat. The royals like the finest things in life, with the Queen’s banquets, frequently being ornate affairs. Of course, the ridiculous banquets of history are a thing of the past - no one is going to be served ortolans, the now-endangered tiny birds soaked in liquor before being eaten whole. But one additional delicacy may be making its way off the menu under King Charles III. At his estate as Prince, he would never allow Foie Gras to be served. The fattened duck liver is known for its rich taste - but the force-feeding method used to create it has been called severely cruel to the animal. It’s already been banned from the royal kitchen for fourteen years, perhaps due to Charles’ urging, and it’s certainly not going to be brought back under his rule. A few rules will be making their way out the royal door with the new king, though. Charles is a senior citizen, and his two sons have grown men with wives and children of their own.

It’s been a long time since children roamed the halls of Buckingham palace. After all, William and Kate have their place - and Harry is an ocean away. So the highly trained nannies of Buckingham Palace won’t be a concern for Charles. And the same goes for the Queen’s beloved Corgis - Charles was never the closest to his mother’s dogs, so they’ll be leaving the royal palace and going to live with the Duchess of York. And so the Corgis’ royal butlers will no longer be a part of King Charles’ life. So some things will change - but others are likely to stay the same. Charles is a new King, and the Queen had seventy years to settle into a routine. In some ways, Charles will follow his mother’s traditional approach - but in others, he’s likely to be a more modern King. He grew up in an era when the Royal Family’s prestige wasn’t quite what it used to be - especially outside of the Queen herself. He’s never sought the public spotlight or been as comfortable as the face of a nation as his mother was, so he’s likely to concern himself with domestic affairs and not as likely to bring the whole Royal entourage around the world. But the times are a-changing.

Charles is the oldest king to ever take office, and much like in his case, there is a clear line of succession. Prince William inherited his father’s title of Prince of Wales, and like him, he’ll eventually take over as King - in a whole lot less than the 73 years Charles waited. And when that happens, whether it’ll be because Charles abdicates or passes on, there may be some big changes in store for the royal staff. Because Prince William and his wife Kate don’t use domestic staff at their home. The oldest son of King Charles III has always been a more modern royal, and he and his wife largely eschew the traditional royal upbringing for their three kids.

While it’s likely all of the kids will grow up by the time William takes the throne, this also means that he could very well decide that the royal staff could use a trimming down - and that would be a far bigger earthquake in Buckingham Palace.