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Innocent Lies in a Relationship That Will Maintain Harmony Between Partners

It's best to know when and how to lie

By Paul GriffithsPublished 2 years ago 5 min read
Innocent Lies in a Relationship That Will Maintain Harmony Between Partners
Photo by Travis Grossen on Unsplash

What lies are innocent in a relationship? Is there an innocent lie? In a way, yes! Let's face it: we all say little "donuts" to each other, to keep the peace, harmony and not to hurt the other. But we don't even look at them as lies…

It is important to realize that a lie is not innocent as long as we do not feel guilty and as long as it is not 100% a lie! What lies are innocent in a relationship: those lies, those "white lies" that are not exactly false, but are a "stylization" of the truth, an exaggeration, a change, or an avoidance of the truth. We can't always be honest with each other, just as we can't be honest with ourselves!

Sometimes no one likes the truth and it can hurt. When is a problem with the couple's lies? When the relationship is based on a lie, when the truth can destroy the couple, or when you have to tell lies every day to keep the harmony.

What lies are innocent in a relationship? First of all, those who are not blamed for hiding one mistake, but for the other.

The physical appearance of the other.

No matter how much your partner is attracted to you, some aspects don't seem so great to you. Maybe they are related to weight, physiognomy, height, the way you dress, the color or the richness of your hair… Everyone has at least one physical defect.

But you are not crazy enough to recognize him in front of the other! So, when she asks, "Honey, have I gotten fat?", You say, using a little exaggeration: when he asks, "Honey, do you think I'm bald?" You say affectionately, "Honey, you're just as sexy." and it looks to you like a bag of shoes, you tell her how beautiful she is; when he asks: "I'm fine with this suit", but it seems to you that he has a little more and his father is the leitmotif, you tell him how masculine he is…

This is the situation, you can't and you don't want to hurt the other one! And this is exactly what he/she is looking for in you: a reassurance that, despite the flaws (of which he/she is only aware!), You still find him / her attractive and sexy! To tell the whole truth in such a situation would be pure masochism…

Activities and hobbies.

At least at the beginning of a relationship, white lies are told about the other person's preferences. Out of the desire to have things in common, to make the other person see how well you fit in, you will probably tell at least a few lies about his favorite activities! "I find this computer game fascinating," "Yes, I like music from your favorite club," "Yeah, I watch football sometimes," to play poker "!!

Innocent little donuts that will make the other person like you and see how to fit you are! These lies sometimes continue throughout the relationship, as it can be difficult to confess that you hate his hobby! But they do not harm the relationship, as long as it does not frustrate or bother you.


What lies are innocent in a relationship, but also necessary? Those related to his / her friends! Sometimes you don't like her friends too much, but you're not suicidal about telling her the truth yes, they have to become your friends too!

Otherwise, big problems are expected in the couple… So, even if a certain person in the other person's entourage seems insipid, boring, annoying, stupid, you learn to smile nicely and say only good things about him/her. After all, she's friends with your boyfriend, so it can't be that bad!


Truly innocent lies! You're not crazy to say "my dear, you're cooking worse than me" or "darling, you have a horrible job"! No - compliment, praise, show the other person how good he is and how much you appreciate him, even if sometimes you have less admirable things to say…

Also, when it comes to gifts, you feel compelled to compliment the wonderful idea, to tell a donkey about how much you like it, how much you wanted it - even though he gave you a knife and she gave you a shirt like grandpas!

Otherwise, if you tell her the truth, you, as a man, must be prepared for a long discussion and you, as a woman, must be prepared from now on to hear: "I didn't take anything from you, it wouldn't like it "or" I give you money and you get something to like, dear "!

So far, there have been some white lies in the couple meant to do good to each other, not to hurt him! What lies are innocent in a relationship if they are lies told for one's good?

Those that represent, in fact, the avoidance or concealment of the whole truth. Because if you said everything, you would be hurting your relationship when in fact, you were not doing anything wrong! E.g:

Activities and people that bother him/her.

In any couple, your partner is bothered by certain activities or especially by the fact that you spend time with certain people. So, from time to time, instead of telling the other person that you went out for a coffee with a certain colleague, for a beer with a certain friend, you prefer not to say anything!

What he/she doesn't know will not bother him/her! But beware: these lies are innocent only as long as you do nothing wrong, as long as you are innocent, and your relationship with that person is purely friendly! In addition, they are called innocent lies if they are only occasional, rare, not when they become a habit. It is not normal for a couple to frequently hide from each other.

Your weaknesses.

When it comes to white lies told for your good, perhaps the most common are those that hide your flaws and your weaknesses from the other. Nobody wants to show their bad parts, especially in front of their partner. So, especially at the beginning of the relationship, but even along the way, you hide certain flaws, weaknesses, annoying habits, or less grace. Everyone knows their own "sins", unattractive aspects and tries to hide them or diminish them in front of the loved one, which is natural!

The good news is that most likely, he/she will accept and love you with all those annoying habits, flaws, and weaknesses. But instinctively, you prefer to refrain from screaming after a hearty meal, swearing vulgarly, dropping your clothes, eating with the lust of a crocodile, digging in hidden places - just to make the most obvious habits less attractive…

It is normal: you emphasize qualities and reduce defects, but everything has a limit: in the end, it is good for your partner to know you (almost) completely because that's the only way you have a sincere relationship.


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    PGWritten by Paul Griffiths

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