My eyes slowly open, bringing me back into consciousness. They close again for a brief moment, and it feels as though I am tethered to a dream, a scene that I don’t quite remember. I feel comfortable, knowing that the dream wasn’t a bad one, and that I was being lulled into the real world slowly and happily.
The window on my left is letting in a tiny bit of light from outside, so it must be after 9 AM here. I stare at the sunlight gently hitting the floor, seeing the small specks of dust floating in the air around it. I’m thankful for this quiet moment, allowing me to wake up and straighten my bearings.
I blink again and listen to the slow breaths that emit from your chest from behind me. I begin to turn over carefully, pulling the blankets with me ever so gently, not wanting to wake you. I cuddle up to the blankets and pillows close to you, and take a second to watch, noticing the rise and fall of your chest, your dazed expression, how peaceful you look, the muscles in your face completely relaxed.
I smiled. There is no place that I would rather be than right next to you, and no matter your state of consciousness, I savor every moment. I would rather lose sleep just to be able to see your face. How could I have been so stupid to be asleep when you were looking like this just laying next to me?
With a few fingers, I trace a line on your left arm by your shoulder. I’m always in awe of just how soft your skin is, how easy it is to touch, and how addictive the feel.
Still groggy from sleep, I vow to lay here for a while, not forcing you to get up. I push my hair to the left side of my head, so there’s no chance of it getting in your way. I bring the blanket up further to make sure you’re warm.
I don’t take enough time to sit here, and really notice you. How beautiful you are, how capable, and loving, and caring, and how complete you’ve made me feel. I think we take partners for granted some days, not really taking the time to thank them for absolutely everything they’ve done for us.
I placed my left hand on your chest, knowing that it wouldn’t wake you up. I felt the smooth, steady heartbeat pounding under your chest. Such a peaceful feeling to me.
Seconds or hours may have passed, I wasn’t really keeping track.
You began stirring, rolling in my direction, and using your right hand to pull me closer into you. I took the opportunity to move the blankets, and cuddle up closer to you, feeling your skin against mine. I could tell you were slowly waking up.
After a few more moments, you started moving your hand against my back in soothing, rhythmic movements. I looked up at your face from where I had tucked my face under your chin, and you took a large breath.
You looked down at me briefly, and I swear I saw a silent smile spread across your face. “Good morning, beautiful,” you all but whispered, planting a small kiss on my forehead.
“Good morning, handsome,” I responded, and looked back down to plant a kiss on your chest.
I reached my left hand around to your back, and started moving it along your back, still in awe of how your skin feels. Staying silent in this moment, I tried to force my head to think of what was happening now versus what I was planning for the day. I don’t take enough time to really just be with you, and you specifically without having my mind wander.
I like your skin, how it feels under mine. I like your chest, strong and firm. I like the feeling of your stubble, how you look when you smile with your eyes, your infectious laugh. I like feeling your chest rise and fall with every breath. I like lying next to you and feeling the heat radiating from your body.
I like being next to you. I don’t want to ever take that for granted. I wish for endless moments like this, in awe of you.