if you decide to love someone.

by Miles Carter 11 days ago in love

a dive into what it means to love.

if you decide to love someone.

If you decide to love someone,

Love is the conscious decision after infatuation. We often identify love as a feeling but I offer instead that it is a principle. A mutual understanding between partners - the commitment to love when it is inconvenient, when it is uncomfortable, and when it is easier to walk away. We tend to reserve this kind of approach to love for marriage, but I believe in order to engage in lasting and truly fulfilling relationships, mutual respect and accountability must be present in their foundation.

Surrender your heart,

Love is surrender. It is trusting your heart in the hands of the one who has promised to take care of it. Trust is a building block we must acknowledge in any experience we commit ourselves to. It is the establishing of a standard to be upheld. A shared understanding between partners that allows room for true vulnerability. In trust we offer faith and consideration when we are presented with doubt and uncertainty. We embody respect if we are ever tempted by desire. Respect for not only our partner, but ourselves and the relationship we have committed ourselves to.

Remove the guards and relinquish their shields, you need to feel this thoroughly

Love is vulnerable. It invites us to break down barriers that shield us from hurt knowing they simultaneously shield us from life's best experiences. We were never meant to live in the aftermath of pain. Love invites us to try again. Our past does not define us, but instead facilitates the story of where we are coming from. We are not bound to living in our hurt when we can learn from it. As our experiences mold and shape us, like gold that is tested in fire, we come out refined and developed by them.

Love was never meant to be safe or measured, so love irrationally. Jump of a cliff without considering consequence

We were never meant to leave love the same person we went in. And so we are cautious of the people we choose to share the experience with, but we never shy away from the experience in itself. We cannot love in fear, nor can doubt persist where trust resides - so when we decide to love we must submit ourselves to it. Immersing ourselves in the experience,

Love is uncomfortable. Like the feeling before jumping off a cliff into water, we are anxious every time. Nevertheless we jump, opting for the experience of meeting what awaits us at the bottom. We immerse ourselves into the experience as we would water after the fall, and though we are faced with varying feelings of fear, excitement, and thrill - in time we learn how to swim.

Love specifically, pay attention to the smaller details of the bigger picture

Love requires deliberate effort and focus. It invites us to understand someone not only for who they are to us, but who they are on their own. We all have our individual paths in this life, it is important that we set our own intentions, aspirations and dreams to better gauge whether or not our relationships assist or derail our journey to them. From here we create healthy boundaries, loving people for not only who they are but who they will become. It also leaves us room to keep our personal development in sight, that we do not sacrifice our individuality for the roles we play in the lives of others. In understanding this for ourselves we begin to appreciate not only the surface but the world of perspective, insight, and unexplored potential within us and the everyone we love.

Love unconditionally, because there will be days when you don't like her, but the love must remain

In life the storms will come but we weather them by building our relationships on solid foundations. Love was never meant to be easy, but that is why it is worth the effort. There will be days when we will not be ourselves, the inevitable tragedies and pain that will find us. In deciding to love someone we acknowledge this truth and face whatever life presents as a unified front. We offer love not for what we can gain but because we have it to give. We give without incentive, showing kindness in the face of adversity and offering understanding when we want so desperately to be understood.

Love is not transactional. It is unconditional. Existence was crafted from the fiber of it, this world is a reflection of precision and care. In acknowledging this we realize there is love all around us, all the time. The trees bear fruit they will never eat, the rivers give water and never bathe themselves. We know then that this world exists in a harmony of codependency, and man is not exempt from the responsibility of rooting his every intention in love.

And in the event that love breaks you, Let it break. Do not close yourself off or shut yourself down. Your heart will be shaped and reshaped but in the end, it will still be yours

We are like plastic in this life. Over time we are changed, molded, reshaped, broken, rebuilt into something new and these cycles repeat to make us who we are. It is why we are special, it is our experience and perspective that make us unique. And so we learn to approach chaos without fear knowing this life does not happen to us, but for us. We grow from every experience.

As humans we are blessed with the skill of adaptation . It’s kept us here for eons . You will adapt

If nothing else, we will adapt. it is written in our genome, we will always meet change with development. And so we invite it with open arms, allowing ourselves the full experience of life while we are here. Indulging all the lessons life will offer knowing it will always be alright in the end.

love
Miles Carter
Miles Carter
Read next: 'Chocolate Kisses'
Miles Carter

find your peace and hold it hostage

See all posts by Miles Carter