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I’ve chosen so well

Looking at the dating scene from the point of view of an old married Mum....

By Gillian Lesley ScottPublished 4 years ago 4 min read
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Oh my I’ve chosen so well..... I mean my husband is in the top 1% of humans .... if I’m to believe the horror stories about relationships that I read and hear about from friends. It still sounds a little ridiculous I know....I wonder if the younger generation would call me out for “settling”. I have a lot of young friends, not to mention 20 something children and all I see is that they are afraid.. Afraid of each other, what’s next in their lives, afraid of being buried under a mountain of menial jobs and study, afraid of mounting debt and most puzzling to me..... emotional connection

Mind you, who could blame them? Instead of connecting in person in say..an inviting pub, or through a joint enjoyable hobby... breathing in the scent of a person ....hearing the tone of their voice the way their face crinkles when they smile.... taking the time to build the connections with another...they have filtered pictures, a snap judgement to make and a shopping list of traits that are “desirable”

Ok ...”I don’t understand young people...” as one shouted, well actually....no they didn’t shout ... they wrote..... on messenger to me once. They were frustrated at me for being upset over something they presumably thought I should “suck up” On an intellectual level I understood what they were fed up about.... but emotionally .... their behaviour made me feel like a pointless old piece of crap . I wrote down how I felt.... I never intended to say it though.. but being a cack handed older person... with not enough experience of messenger at the time... I accidentally sent it... it was beginning of the end of that friendship...and years after I still feel bad that I might have harmed another human, when society and pretty much myself says... I should not have indulged .. what I do acknowledge was a tiny crush. It was fun though ... for about 5 minutes...

Anyway as an old fool I took a risk.. but it seems to me that young single people with a multiplicity of choices ... still don’t choose ... anyone. Or take a risk, give that person a chance. The rating and dating rules were always pretty harsh no matter what decade you were young in...however waiting for the phone to ring certainly was mild compared to the nightmare scenarios that young people face now.

But that’s how it seems to be and although because I am interested in others I have been drawn to others a couple of times ..Hardly ever it has to be said...... but I love my top 1% husband and I would not go through with adultery. A hug and a one off peck on the lips is my limit, pretty much like at Christmas or New Year..... beyond that I’d feel so bad ... after all my generation are even more constrained by the b.s. rules of society..but even that is regarded as foul by some young people ... well actually not that foul ....they enjoy the attention you might give them ....but then is that a slippery slope ...? I have to live with the fact that a person I regarded as a friend who was happy to hug ... and kissed me first.., screamed blue murder when I shut the connection down mostly because my emotional boundaries were not being considered, despite my efforts to get them heard. No one cheated or was going to...we got on well enough as members of a joint activity, which had ended. I did not see a continued connection happening......beyond the dreaded Facebook. So why keep the connection ? To say this decision, when communicated after yet another failed attempt to be heard, ...was not well received was an understatement. Should I be expected, however, to continue seeing what’s going on in the life of a person who just didn’t get my views at all, no matter how carefully I tried to explain my thoughts or tried to genuinely get beyond the crush and see the whole person..and preferred instead to bully and to virtually criminalise me ...

Well ....I answered my own question... and I found out about a year later that they thought I should be trying to fix things with them, via a mutual acquaintance... I don’t know why it was up to me... anyway much though I would have liked to mend fences ... I could not see the value of it, there was nowhere for the friendship to fit anymore for one thing.. It was just one example of why despite it being a bit annoying at times ( though I will say that the upside of the crush was that it gave me that appreciation for what I have back....) I’d much much rather be with my top 1% husband.... who is honestly the only person who gets me and is my constant cheerleader....because it seems..what’s going on out there is the most horrible bullshit ... with everybody inflicting further damage on each other. Who the hell wants to go through that again and again?

I can understand why young people are reluctant to even start .......

love
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About the Creator

Gillian Lesley Scott

Scots born Australian. Tales of being human. Despite aiming for the highest good of all, not always successful

https://www.instagram.com//gillesleyscott//

https://www.facebook.com/gillian.l.scott

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