I turned off social media for over a year.

I've been writing this and rewriting this again and again. I don’t really understand why this is so hard to write about. It’s not that it's a touchy issue - it's just hard to convey properly for some reason. So here is the final attempt at telling this story and telling you what I learned while being away from social media for over a year.

I decided early 2020 to just completely get rid of all my social media accounts. I did keep the messaging apps to stay in touch even though I basically stopped doing that as well for a while (sorry homies). The nutshell is that I grew tired of how far socail media drew away from trying to connect people and it turned into a battle royale of the internet. I figured I’d be one of those people who would do things instead of complain that no one was doing it. It was time to take every moment and savor it like a fine wine and do the same with how I spent my time with people.

I learned how to enjoy the day that was before me and the day that had been behind me. I learned to close my eyes and listen to the world around me. I learned to be with people face to face without the constant burn to check what was going on in the social media world. We laughed, jammed to good music, made food, ate the good food and went for walks around rivers. In 2020 my husband and I were stuck in Japan for an extra four months. It was longer than we intended and of course it was because of COVID but it was one of the best times we had with the people we love.

During the time away from social media I added fuel to the flame of my inner bibliophile and double timed on the amount of books I was reading. I even ventured out of the genres I normally read and found some really great books in that time. The best part of it all? I had been in a creative desert since early 2014 - nothing would come no matter how hard I tried it was like an extreme case of constipation. Now don’t get me wrong I’m not blaming social media for this it just so happened that the best part of being away was that creativity started to come back and I started to do one of my favorite things again; write.

In 2020 it started out in small sparks which really threw me off at first because I hadn't had ideas in such a long time. It felt really good to write again even though it was absolutely dreadful and let’s be honest friends it still kind of is. Fast-forwarding to 2021: harder times hit and the most relieving thing was that I didn't have to be on social media to share my woes. I mean no one really has to be on social media anyway so there you go. My husband and I had our first baby who was born with cancer and we shared the "woes" with close friends and family instead of the whole world. Something about that was really comforting.

This time without social media has been so amazing. I learned to really be me again. I learned to refocus, restart, reset and enjoy breathing. Earlier I mentioned the thing about closing my eyes and just breathing and let me tell you it is one of my favorite things to do.

I remember in elementary school my P.E. teacher would take us outside and we would close our eyes and take deep breaths. He would tell us to get real quiet and listen to the world around us. I used to love it so much and I was reminded to do this again. I was reminded to savor my surroundings and the people I was with. I know that social media isn't evil and it really can be a place to stay connected with some really amazing people but sometimes when you leave a city and you breathe in fresh mountain air or the ocean breeze there is really nothing that can compare to it.