I Tried

Most people, at some point in their lives, will fall in love. They'll find someone that makes them feel something they've never felt before and that someone will almost always not work out once or twice.

For those of you that found your "soulmate" on the first try, I applaud you, but this article is not really going to help you...

I'd like to start off by acknowledging the fact that there are different kinds of love. We've all seen those puppy-love couples that just cannot seem to get enough of each other, but there are also those couples that hide their love from the public and who value the connection between each other and not public opinion. Both of these are completely real, and there are many in between.

There are also variations in how you, yourself, perceive the love you feel. I, for one, know that sometimes when you're in a relationship you can get caught up in what is going on, believing that you found the perfect one for you, and maybe at that moment you were "in love" but once you've lost that bond and no longer can feel that way about your partner, sometimes you realize that love isn't just about finding someone who cares about you or is a really good friend because if that were true, we'd all have found hundreds of loves by now.

No, love is something more, it's about attraction to how your partner's mind works, what brings that stupid smile to their face, what they fear when the night is so dark you can't see your hand in front of you. It's about wanting not just their body, but also wanting to be around them, wanting to hear their voice, study their features, the curve of their lips, the color of their eyes. It is something powerful and different for everyone, but at the end of the day, whoever youe love is, they're the one that you make your day better even when you're having the worst one.

And when I say, "I tried," I mean I tried to make things work when I finally knew it wasn't love between us, at least on my end. Sometimes we still try to fix things that shouldn't be fixed... and maybe it's because we want to believe that we didn't fail or that we only have one true soulmate and the first person we "love" has to be it, but that simply isn't true. They say you fall in love anywhere from two to seven times, but still, we try to tell ourselves, "This is the one, we're meant to be," even though it simply can't always be true.

I'm writing this as a reminder to not just myself but everyone who has fallen into the cliché belief that we can only truly love one person. You can love someone and give it your all and tear yourself apart in the end because you know that they still believe it was love when you saw that it wasn't, but that doesn't mean you're out of love. Yes, it feels draining and like there is no one in the world who could possibly make you want to feel when you know how bad it can feel when it ends. That is just how your brain tries to coup with the loss, but it shouldn't be the end of love in your life.

Heartbreak is not always when someone breaks up with you. Sometimes someone leaves and it feels like that space they left behind in your life will always be empty and a reminder that you couldn't stop them. Other times it's when you couldn't do it anymore, you knew it wasn't right, and that is such an underrated choice. In a breakup, more than just the one being broken up with is hurt, as the amount of courage and strength required to end things that have meant so much to both parties is unbelievable sometimes.

As long as you put in the effort before throwing in the towel, you deserve to be recognized for the hardships you went through even if you weren't in the traditional position for sympathy. Our society has focused solely on who has been broken up with even though there are always at least two people involved. If you can say you tried, that you did something to try to make it work, that you tried to find that love again, and not just leave, then you shouldn't be blamed for wanting better.

Heartbreak comes in many forms, so don't let someone who cannot possibly know the whole story from your perspective dictate how you should feel. You know what happened, you know how it feels, and no matter how it ended, your feelings are valid for you and not for how society or how your friends or how your family thinks you should.

So go out, take a risk, find someone who makes you feel like someone worthwhile and if it isn't right, you can do it. It isn't evil or bad to say it isn't working as long as you tried, you'll heal, and that heartbreak you feel won't always be the very first thought you wake up to, but once you find remorse for as you think of how you felt in the past because of how you've become stronger since you concurred it.

My best wishes till you find love, again.