I Thought She Was My Friend

It hurt. More than anything had ever hurt before. I never thought that emotions could hurt this much, but apparently, they can. My emotions were mixed and confused. I was angry, sad, heart-broken, and absolutely devastated. I know how corny this sounds, but it felt like my heart had shattered and all the pieces were lost. I didn’t know what to do. My best friend had just taken the guy I’d liked since Grade 8. It wouldn’t be so bad if she didn’t know I liked him, but she knew! She knew! She was the first to know about it! But she still took him from me... She took him...

“Elizabeth! Get up!”

I opened my bleary, bloodshot eyes and sighed as I saw the ceiling of my small, plain, white room.

“Get up Elizabeth! It’s time to get ready for school! Hurry Elizabeth! Get up!”

“I’m up mum! I’m up!” I yelled back, trying to sound in-control. As soon as I had replied, the tears started falling down my cheeks again. Unknown to my mother, I had been crying all night. I slowly sat up in bed, my fluffy, blue sheets dropping from my body. I suppressed a sob as I got up, letting my feet rest on the cute, green carpet that covered the cold, tiled floor. I rubbed my eyes and clumsily stumbled to the bathroom. I had to get my emotions under control.

I wiped my face, ridding myself of the tears working their way through my eyes and stared at myself in the mirror. I was an absolute mess. My curly brown hair was tangled and matted, sticking out in all directions and my normally clear, blue eyes were bloodshot with big, black bags circling underneath them. My mouth was set in a straight line and lightly trembling as I desperately tried to stop the tears.

I took a deep breath to calm myself and turned on the icy cold-water tap. I splashed it onto my face. I suddenly stopped, my hands just cupped underneath the tap, and I stared at the water pouring out of the tap. For one split second, just one second, I wondered what it would be like to stick my head under the water and breathe in and out.

My eyes widened as soon as the thought crossed my mind and I immediately turned off the tap. I couldn’t believe I had thought that. I couldn’t be that upset... Could I? I mean, true I’ve been devastated ever since I found out about them, but I never thought that suicide would cross my mind. I slowly looked up at the misty mirror. My eyes weren’t as bloodshot anymore and my mouth was no longer trembling, instead my whole face was coated in horror. Horror of what had just entered my thoughts.

I always knew that being a teenager was tough. I knew that I would have problems like this, and I knew I’d feel upset, but I never even considered that I’d think of suicide.

I shook my head to get rid of all the horrible thoughts and dried my face with my towel. I slowly walked back to my small bedroom. I had the smallest bedroom in the house because the twins got the biggest and my parents got the second biggest. The only room left was a tiny one – I think it was supposed to be the laundry – but I didn’t mind much. At least I had the room to myself and got my own bathroom.

I quickly took off my pyjamas and replaced them with a plain white t-shirt and my favourite skinny jeans. Then I pulled on my red socks and white sneakers before running down the stairs.

“Good morning, Elizabeth,” said my strict, blonde-haired mother, not even turning around to greet me, “I’m glad you’re finally up. I was calling for over an hour before you actually replied.” She brushed her short, straight hair behind her ear, an annoying habit she had.

I sighed as I plopped into the nearest chair and murmured, “Sorry mum, I was asleep.”

“I gathered that. But why? You are normally up and about pretty early.” She turned to stare at me and her brows knitted together, “Why are your eyes bloodshot?”

I cursed under my breath. My mother was very observant, something I absolutely hated now. Luckily, before I had time to reply, my father walked in.

“Hey honey,” said dad, giving mum a kiss on the cheek, “I’m off to work now.”

“Drive safely please,” said mum, patting his shoulder gently.

Dad smiled and gave us a wave as he left the house. I stared after him for a moment, my mind momentarily drifting to Tyler. He was now my ex-best friend’s boyfriend when he had originally been mine. My emotions swelled up inside me and I felt a tear dribble down my cheek.

“What’s wrong, Elizabeth?” asked mum, her green eyes filling with concern, “Did something happen? Are you alright?”

I slowly nodded. I wasn’t confident that I could talk without blubbering.

Mum snorted in disbelief and said, “You’re not alright. I’m not blind, Elizabeth, what’s wrong?”

I tried to speak, tried to convince her I was fine, but when I opened my mouth only a choked sob emerged. Tears started flowing down my cheeks as the floodgates opened.

Suddenly, mum was there, wrapping her arm around my shoulders and pulling me closer. “What’s wrong, honey?”

I managed to gulp down the sobs and turn to face mum. Her face was scrunched up in worry and she was trying to read my face, see what was wrong.

“Did something happen at school?”

I nodded and clutched her hands. “It’s…about Rachel,” I stammered softly, the tears starting to lessen.

“What happened? Did something happen to her? Is she alright?” She fired the questions at me, probably worried for Rachel at that moment.

I laughed among the tears. How ironic that she thought something was wrong with Rachel. “She’s fine,” I said, anger flowing through me. “She just started dating Tyler.”

Mum’s face filled with realisation as she pulled me close, into a tight hug. “I’m so sorry, Elizabeth. I know how much you liked him.”

The tears started falling again. I could only feel pain and anger now, replacing every other emotion. “You don’t have to go to school today,” whispered mum in my ear, “You can stay home.”

I smiled in relief and murmured, “Thanks, Mum.”

I wasn’t close to Mum; I admit that quite easily. I never thought we’d be close. I thought parents liked to sit on the sidelines until the child did something wrong. I thought they relished in punishment, but boy was I wrong. Then, I heard the words I truly believed I never would. Words that I never thought would come out of my mother’s mouth. “It’s alright Elizabeth; I’m here for you. Cry to your heart’s content, I’ll always be here for you. I love you Elizabeth.”

I never knew that sadness could consume you as much as it consumed me. I never knew until he was taken from me. I was devastated that Rachel had done that to me, I was only fifteen, so I didn’t think that would happen. She had taken my love from me, not caring what would happen. She had taken him, and when she took him, she took my trust. It’s a devastating lesson to learn, especially at fifteen. But not all people can be trusted, and quite a lot aren’t close to you, even though they pretend to be. I was wrong in my thoughts, my trusting thoughts; I thought she was close to me, I thought she was my friend...