There's a reason why so many people can relate when Lorde sings, "I overthink your punctuation use" in The Louvre. We can be prone to ruminate and overanalyze silly things, particularly in the early stages of dating. This is enhanced through the use of texting and social media. Text messages can easily get lost in translation, with misunderstandings being part and parcel of texting. Questions like, “Why did they use that full stop?” and “What does that emoji symbolize?” can begin to consume our thoughts. We may rewrite texts multiple times before sending it and send our friends screenshots asking for their advice on how to move forward. Changes in our partner’s mood may cause us to start listing all the potential reasons, in order to see if it could be something to do with us. Many of us overanalyze and overthink relationships from time to time. However, this can become a serious problem when it becomes a daily occurrence and not a once-in-a-while incidence. Therefore, it’s important to try and limit such thoughts and keep in mind that our perception of behaviours is often just our perception.
Engaging in behaviours like overthinking and overanalysing can do more harm than good. The tendency to overthink can be quite harmful to relationships. It drains our energy and inhibits us from truly enjoying time with our partner, as we aren’t present in the moment. One must remember that this energy consumed to overanalyse can be put to much better use. Instead of trying to figure out what is on someone else’s mind and starting to make a mental list of the possibilities, we can use that energy into building our self-love and confidence. We need to remind ourselves to stay in the present instead of dwelling on possible negative outcomes and ruminating about the past. If you spend too much time worrying about what’s going to happen next, you’ll miss out on the joys of rightnow. Moreover, overanalysing can lead to us creating problems that do not actually exist. In turn, we may base our actions on events that haven’t happened and might never even actually take place. Sometimes we break our own hearts by looking into things too much when they aren’t truly that deep.
It is possible you might be overthinking your relationship because of unclear communication. Improving in this area could be one way to reduce overthinking. Be honest and have good open communication. Communication is vital in relationships as it helps to reduce misunderstanding and sets the expectations. Keeping feelings and thoughts bottled up doesn’t do anyone any good. In order to avoid misunderstandings we must be forthright and able to ask for clarification when necessary. Not sure whether their definition of "keeping things casual" matches yours? Ask them. Understand their view while also making yours clear. It is always better to have everything out there, no matter how scared or embarrassed you may feel initially. There are only two paths this could lead to and either way you’ll gain clarity and be able to move forward with or without them.
Having good communication in relationships does not mean you have to be talking or texting constantly. It entails being clear, making your intentions known and setting boundaries that you are both comfortable with. Going to be extremely busy during the day? Let your partner know in the morning. It could be as simple as shooting them a text. A good partner will understand and appreciate this.
Note to self: Next time you find yourself beginning to overthink remember to take a step back and reconsider what is worth your time and energy. It may be hard initially, but it’ll definitely be rewarding in the end.