I'm too busy

Hands in the air if you have been guilty of saying to someone that you are too busy or that you've been too busy...

I imagine that most people reading this have used that excuse on more than one occasion. I've used it multiple times across my lifetime but not for many years now and this is why...it's f***ing irritating. Everyone is busy and those that use this reason not to meet are to be avoided at best, shunned at most.

Your Own Example

Reading this I bet that there are many who will be thinking of themselves or those that they know who consistently say this. Friends that are far too busy to meet yet still want to agree to meet and then an hour before say that they are too busy, I meant why?

• How have you suddenly become too busy in the hour before we are scheduled to meet?
• What happened, did the Queen suddenly knock on your door and demand tea?

Everyone is busy and is grown up enough to know that if you have planned to meet up with someone, then do not plan something else on that same evening. Do not pick and choose what events you will take part in as those you continually say no to will get bored, as it's disrespectful. You know if you want to choose and if there is even a slight thought that there is no enthusiasm to do so or that you will be too tired from work, then just say so.

I have examples that I will go into in more detail in a second but for now, let me reiterate that being busy is never an excuse, especially for those with children. Why do I say this? You are not unique in having a family. Many millions of people raise children each and every day. They work, look after their children and still socialise by communicating and planning.

Friends who have children and stressful jobs, yet still make it out for the night or take time each week to socialise, as they understand their routines. The flip side of this is those who continually mention how busy they are to emphasise how we could possibly not understand their troubles. We should be grateful that they have taken time out of their schedule to see us, as we could never know what they do, as we sit on our bums all day, every day. It's annoying.

My Examples

1. The friend who is suddenly ill the hour before

This is an excuse that really gets under my skin if you are ill then you know at the start of the day that you are ill. There are exceptions of course but when that individual does the same thing over and over again, you simply give up. Invite them but never actually reserve a space and if an event comes up that they invite you to, you reverse the situation, choosing an equally ridiculous excuse.

A point to note here is that I never make an excuse and always make a point to be the better person, yet I wonder why I bother. It doesn't matter to anyone but me and realistically I should just cut my losses and move on.

2. The friend you always need to contact first

This is a situation that I am trying to get out of. Having a friendship that is so one sided is draining to an unbelievable level. To know that you need to be the one to message or call as they never will create annoyance, a barrier and a question. Why am I bothering and does this person actually like me or are they simply too embarrassed to tell me to go away?

I like to be liked and even though I sometimes talk the talk, I am regularly worried about walking the walk for the risk of being left behind. It is a thought that I am working on as life is way too short to be putting in all the effort yourself.

3. The friend that always wants to do something

This is directed at parents mainly. Those that want to appear to be social yet have no intentions of spending any money or researching anything, yet cannot be told. They need to at least in their heads be seen to not have changed when being a parent changes everything. Think practically and don't just agree to everything because the other person knows that you are talking out of your bottom.

The subsequent, sorry I've been busy is one of the most annoying.

4. When you get in touch and get a reply a week later

You know this friend, the one you message but never replies until at least a week down the line. That is annoying on a personal level as I like to operate on a 48 hour SLA. The most irritating consideration here is when they reply a week later and then say that they can't meet on the date indicated, yet everyone else can. They also reply to apologise for the late reply and blame it on being busy.

A Final Thought

Everyone is busy. We all have events that are taking place in our lives and we attend as many as possible based on what we want to do. Life is far too short to worry about those who are always busy, as we would never understand anyway, as they operate on a different plane of existence. They are simply superior and we need to acknowledge this.

Personally, I have had enough. It is simply irritating to hear and whilst it may not be a popular decision, I am going to decide to move on. If you always cancel or never bother to get in touch then what is the point? Why am I wasting time when you clearly have better things to do? Is it not better for both of us to go our separate ways, rather than continue this elaborate charade.?

I think that friendship can lead to apathy which is wrong.

My friends are my extended family and whilst some of them have gotten lazy, most are respectful and never focus on themselves. Those that do are waring thin and realistically, I should leave them behind, as each subsequent year that rolls by sees additional responsibility being added to my life...Life really is too short to worry about those who will always be too busy.

Those who make an effort and make time are those that you should get to know. The rest can easily be forgotten about.