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I Have Given Up On My Marriage (When To Give Up Fighting For Your Marriage)

Are you in a marriage where you're thinking and saying I have given up on my marriage? If so then I'm very sorry because I know exactly how that feels. But I can also tell you that there's a good chance that your marriage can be saved like mine was. Read on to find out when to give up fighting for your marriage.

By Daisy AylaPublished about a year ago 6 min read
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I Have Given Up On My Marriage (When To Give Up Fighting For Your Marriage)
Photo by Naomi August on Unsplash

John works all the time and Marsha does not feel that he is around the family often enough. Marsha spends most of her time taking care of the children and John feels that she does not spend enough time with him. Can this marriage be saved? Should it be saved? Here is how to save a marriage.

First, you must make a decision of whether or not the marriage is worth saving. While just about any marriage can be salvaged through hard work, both parties must make an effort. If one of the two parties is unwilling to try to restore the marriage, then there is not a lot the other party can do.

A lot of people remain in a marriage out of convenience or stay in a marriage for the sake of the children. While the needs of the children should be of the utmost importance, that is often not enough. How to save a marriage begins with both parties making a strong commitment to saving it.

Next, you need to accurately diagnose the real problem or problems in the marriage. One major challenge with how to save a marriage is that many people think the symptoms of the problem are actually the problem itself.

For example, a common misconception by a lot of people is that an affair is actually a problem that leads to break ups. The truth is that an affair is a symptom of a much deeper problem.

An example of this is if a couple doesn't share any true intimacy, one of the partners may seek it somewhere else. Unless the problem of the lack of intimacy is dealt with, the symptoms are likely to reappear again.

Now, maybe the spouse will be guilted into not having another affair, but they may seek to fill that need in another way, like pornography. When you address the core issues that are causing the symptoms to occur, how to save a marriage becomes much easier.

After you have diagnosed the core issues, you can begin to share your thoughts and feelings. By this I mean both verbalizing your own feelings and listening to the concerns of your partner.

Hold their hand when you are talking about your problems as a signal that you strongly desire to reconnect even when your emotions are swirling. When your partner discusses things that have wounded you, remember that he/she is only doing it to try to restore the marriage.

After you have identified in detail the core issues that are causing the marriage to crumble, create a plan of action together to address and resolve these issues. Then, take immediate action on your plan.

If not spending enough time together is the issue, plan a night every week to go out together on a date. Come up with different creative things to do on these dates and make them memorable.

If lack of communication is the issue, make a commitment to spend a half hour together every night before bed just talking to each other. Then make sure to FOLLOW THROUGH with these commitments.

Understand that how to save a marriage is a work in progress. Even the best marriages that last many decades have their challenges. Be slow to become angry and quick to forgive and you'll have a much better shot at long-term success.

Three Simple Things You Can Do to Help Save Your Marriage!

Often, we get complacent in our happiness until one day we realize it isn't there anymore. Marriages rarely fall apart over night. They dissolve piece by piece over time; sometimes so slowly it seems we never saw it coming until it was too late. But is it ever too late to try to save your marriage? The answer is no.

If you work to save your marriage it may still fail, that's true, but if you do nothing it's a foregone conclusion. The biggest mistake anyone can possibly make in trying to salvage their marriage is to do nothing. With that said here are a few simple steps to start you on the path to a renewed union.

1. In marriage pride can be a bitter but necessary pill to swallow. In our pride we argue because we know our opinion is the best one, or our answer is the only one that makes sense. Sometimes we argue (even when we know we're wrong!) simply because we feel attacked, or ganged up on, or backed into a corner. We feel we must defend ourselves so we lash out, sometimes unreasonably so. Unfortunately, all this bickering becomes like playing tennis with the wall. The ball is just going to keep coming back. We can choose to infinitely smack it or just let it go. In our pride we see only our partner's faults. He's why this marriage is falling apart. She's the one who pushed me away. It's rarely all one or the other's fault. Even if you are right about a great many things it doesn't matter. It's all in the past. To save your marriage you need to look to the future, start doing things differently. Compromise is a necessary component in a happy healthy marriage. Sometimes you need to bite down on your pride and let your spouse win. You can't both be right all the time. After all what's to be gained by verbally tearing your partner down?

2. Today so any people are busy with their careers, their kids, house work, maybe part time classes too. The point is, getting quality time to yourself, let alone with your spouse, can be near impossible to find -- but you must! Even if it's only once a week! Maybe it's a television show you like to watch together, or a museum or restaurant you like to go to. The important thing is that it's just the two of you and that you pay attention to each other and not stress about work or what you're going to make for dinner the next day. Listen to your spouse. It can be hard to listen to your husband or wife when you're making dinner or doing the bills or looking over the kids' homework. We have a tendency to just nod or yes them to death without ever really hearing a word they're saying. Times change, people change, we need to be in tune with our husband or wife. It's important to know what's going on with them. What better way to say I don't care than to never listen to a word they say!

3. In today's "politically correct" world we're all so serious and easily offended when oftentimes no offense is even meant. Be slow to anger. Ask yourself: Is your spouse attacking you? Are they purposely trying to hurt you or are they just trying to communicate with you? Sometimes in our attempts to convey our feelings our words are clumsy or hastily said. Rarely do we actually mean what it sounds like. So take a moment and give your spouse the benefit of the doubt before snapping their heads off. Haven't they earned at least that much?

Of course most marriage problems aren't as simple as getting angry because the mayonnaise jar was left out of the fridge. If that's all we had to deal with, biting our tongues and swallowing our pride would be not only simple but easy. However, change has to start somewhere with someone. Better communication and a better understanding of each other can help you work through just about anything. Remember, your marriage fell apart pieces at a time and so must be built back up the same way. It only takes one person to break the cycle and start changing the fate of a marriage.

Thinking about regaining the status of "Happily Married"? It is possible, and is not difficult if you think it is not. But exactly how you do so? If you would like the source most couples used to revive their relationship, strengthened their marriage, regain trust and love in the marriage and not giving up then visit Secrets To A Happy Marriage

Now you can stop your divorce or lover's rejection…even if your situation seems hopeless! There are specific techniques that will show you exactly what to do and what to say to get your spouse back in your arms- Especially if you are the only one trying… Visit this Helpful Site to find out more.

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