I Got Cheated On

“Did you cheat on me?”

“Yes”

One three letter word coming from his mouth is all it took to make my world fall apart.

I’ve written so many songs about people that have been cheated on, but I never in a million years thought he would cheat on me.

Things were so good. We were having fun, we were about to live together, so why would this happen?

How could he hurt me like this?

I have never had the best experiences with guys, but this one was different. I spent everyday for the past ten months with him, every single day. He made me so happy. Yeah we fought, and yeah we would have rough days, but we always made up.

I thought he was different—and he was—until this happened.

Disbelief

My first stage was disbelief.

I loved him and he loved me, that’s what I thought. We fell asleep next to each other almost every night, and woke up next to each other. How could you risk losing us just to have sex with someone else? I really couldn’t let myself believe that he did that. One of his family members was also in complete shock. It’s not like him to do something like that; he never hurts anyone.

Sadness

My second stage was being upset.

I wasn’t upset for that long. I just kept replaying the memory of me finding out, and him telling me over and over in my head. If he never hurts anyone, and tells me he loves me, why would he do this? It’s not okay to cheat, ever. My trust issues have come back, I don’t know how I can ever trust someone again like I trusted him.

Embarrassment

My third stage was embarrassment.

As soon as I found out I only told three people. One was my best friend, the other is a friend that I know has been cheated on, so I went to him for advice on how to cope, and the other one was one of his family members that I’m really close to. I didn’t really want it to get out at the time, because I was embarrassed. I felt so stupid. How could I not know? I had proof the whole time, and I didn’t think twice about it. One day the comforter and the sheets were spotless, they had been washed, and I’m normally the one to do that. I know I shouldn’t blame myself, but it’s kind of hard not to. I’m not the reason he cheated. That was all on him.

Then it finally hit me at night that this is reality and he actually cheated. I cried for at least an hour non stop, my chest was hurting so bad, I was shaking, I didn’t have control over my feelings or my thoughts, and it was so hard to catch my breath. So many emotions were coming over me, and I just wanted to escape reality. I didn’t know how to cope with it, I didn’t know how to not cry.

I had absolutely no idea what to do. Then I realized, people go through this stuff unfortunately. This stuff happens to other people, I am not the only person in the world who has been cheated on. People make it through this. I’m accepting the fact that I might be sad for a long time, I might doubt myself, and my worth for a long time. I might even not be able to trust for a long time, but eventually I will get there. I will overcome the pain and the betrayal. I will trust again and feel good about myself again. I just have to power through, and feel through my emotions. I know it won’t be easy, and I will definitely have my bad days. But I know I will get through this.