I don't use Tiktok, Instagram, and Facebook. Do I feel happier?

I think the video call feature on Instagram is strange. Because, why? Why on earth? Why is there a video call... On Instagram...? Where we already have Whatsapp or Telegram? This perplexed me since I'm not on Instagram. I just knew it a few weeks ago when my partner got a video call from his friend through Instagram. Turns out it's already available from 2020 (correct me if I'm wrong). Puzzled by my cluelessness, my partner wondered, "How could you don't know this?" "Well, do you remember? I'm not using Instagram anymore!"

I know, I might sound like a tech luddite. But as a finance worker, I use Excel a lot with complex financial modeling. My workplace uses Monday.com, and I use Obsidian to jot down some notes with 3 devices to sync to it through DropSync. And I met my partner on Tinder. Do I count as a tech luddite?

But, I do call myself a social media luddite. And I'm proud of it, lol. I feel free from deactivating social media for more than 3 years. There are so many books and articles that explain the disadvantage of social media. The article like Have Smartphone Destroyed a Generation on the Atlantic and Jaron Lanier's book on Ten Arguments to Delete Your Social Media Account are just a few. You can also take a look at The Hype Machine: How Social Media Disrupts Our Elections, Our Economy, and Our Health--and How We Must Adapt book by Sinan Aral, or watch The Social Dilemma on Netflix. Don't forget to search the articles about Tristan Harris.

Then, how do I stay in touch with other people without social media? That's simple. I asked for their number. Well, sometimes I need to log in to Instagram or Facebook through my browser only to get their phone number. By then, I can exchange messages with them, sharing stories via direct chat (not through InstaStories), have some Whatsapp groups, and urge them to meet in person. Of course, meeting in person is hard when the pandemic hits. But we don't need to connect through social media either. Direct messages, call, or video calls can do.

However, that doesn't mean people who use social media are wrong. They are not. Some of them are the smartest people I know. My researcher friend whose about to get a Ph.D. is active on social media, too. Nevertheless, I just have a different life with them. I don't find using social media fits with me.

"There’s no magic, one-size-fits-all answer for building a happier, healthier, more productive life. Different strategies work for different people—in fact, what works for one person may be the very opposite of what works for someone else."

Gretchen Rubin – The Four Tendencies

The good side of not using social media happened when I went on holiday. This way, I savor the experience directly, not looking at the scenery through a screen. This leaves me feeling fulfilled. And gladly, my partner follows, too. We don't share our holiday on our social media account. But we do share the stories with our friends when we met them.

But, bear in mind that doesn't mean life without social media is always good either. When life gets hard, it's hard to ask for help in an instant because you need to reach out to your friend one by one. Sometimes I miss an event (includes the family event--which I don't regret). Sometimes I'm not aware of what kind of food is currently on-trend. But, the sad thing comes when my friend shares something important only through social media. That leaves me feeling like a bad friend. How could I don't know what are they have been up to? Oh, I forgot, I don't use social media. Anyway, by the time I know about their news, I reached out to them and apologized that I didn't know it earlier. Thankfully, my friends are understanding.

So, in a way, my life is a bit... Outdated. Well, that's a price to pay if one wants to be a social media luddite.

But I enjoy it. I like the feeling of knowing news a week later, not an hour later (or a minute). There is no instant anxiety hit, and most of the information is not important anyway. How much information we consume everyday are actually doesn't matter? There is a 99% chance that the information on our social media feed is not important. So, by not using social media, we can focus on what matters.

What matters is your life. Not the other people's life. Not even the algorithm wants to say to you (or to sell to you). If you can balance social media life with real-life, then that's great! Because I can't. Maybe you can share the tips and tricks to balance digital life with real life. We need the right approach to balance our life.

But well, you know, I do feel happier without social media. After all, ignorance is bliss!