Humans logo

Husband And Wife Dispute Resolution (Steps For Conflict Resolution In Marriage)

If you're looking for advice for husband and wife dispute resolution because there's a ton of criticism in your marriage and it's getting harder and harder to deal with...well don't think you're alone. Here are the steps for conflict resolution in marriage.

By Charles BillPublished 2 years ago 6 min read

Marriage is a union between two adults who have decided to share companionship. Love normally should be the basic ingredient in marriage. Disputes are however inevitable. This is because it is sometimes possible for couples to disagree on some grounds. Some of these grounds may be trivial while others could be fundamental. Disputes should be expected because the two individuals who have married are from different socio-cultural backgrounds, have different psychological make ups and usually have different aspirations. Marriage has only succeeded in bringing them together, love has made them accepted each other while understanding will make them harmonize their differences. Regardless, marriages still face challenges and these are sometimes tough. Many take the easy way out- divorce. This is why the rate of divorce in the world is astronomical and is becoming disheartening in proportion even in the United States of America.

The following are the tips couples could use when disputes occur in their marriages:

1. When disputes occur in marriage for whatever reason, the most important way out of the conflicts/disputes is to see it as normal. Couples should not see the other couple as disappointment. It is common to hear couples say they are disappointed in their partners. The partner/couple is human too. So, couples should see their spouses as human and capable of making mistakes and not feel disappointed.

2. Couples should not always consider divorce as the best and the only way out. Before getting hopeless about the marriage due to disputes, couples should have the mindset that the disputes can be resolved as no dispute is too big to be resolved

3. Couples should allow their anger to settle before exchanging views. When one couple is raging, it is not the time to exchange words. One of the couples should be mature and magnanimous enough to cultivate the other spouse and only listen. When the two talk angrily at the same time, it only aggravates the disputes and could make situation violent and worse.

4. One of the couples could excuse himself/herself and go outside for a while to allow the anger of the other couple to burn out before returning. It is most likely that the anger associated would have settled by the time the spouse returns.

5. Many people have things that make them angry and tired of their marriage. Couples should therefore communicate effectively to get the turn offs of their partners or spouses and avoid the turn offs to prevent disputes that could threaten their marriages.

6. Most time in marriages, the best counselor is yourself (the couple). Do not feel or believe the counselor outside your union is the only one to settle your dispute because the counselor is a professional. Take solace in yourself and counsel yourself first. Know that you are the only one that can make your marriage work and decide as well as do everything to make it work.

7. Related to the point 6 above, do not allow third parties to interfere in your marriage even in disputes. Many other peoples' experiences may not suit your situation. Therefore, talk more with your couple and share experiences that can settle the disputes.

Disputes are normal parts of marriage, so make sure you settle them and enjoy your marriage afterward.

Want a Healthier Marriage? Watch Your Mouth!

Here is my marriage advice to all couples: If you want to strengthen your marriage or relationship:

Watch your mouth!

Marriage help: It's all about the words we choose

There's an old Bee Gees song that says, "It's only words, and words are all I have, to take your heart away." When you and your spouse/partner were first dating, you probably used your words wisely in an effort to win over your mate's heart. If you did, you must have been mindful of the power of your words-you suddenly became a wordsmith, highly attuned to how your words made your partner smile and laugh and want to hold you tight.

Do you still choose your words wisely while communicating with your partner?

Essential Communication Rules for a Stronger Marriage

Rule 1: Your words have power.

Rule 2: Each and every day you have thousands of words to choose from while communicating with your spouse/partner. So the words that come out of your mouth are only a thin slice of the overall word pie that's available to you.

Rule 3: The words you select have a profound impact on your marriage or relationship (and on your own experience). Your words are continuously impacting your relationship (even if you're unaware of it).

Rule 4: Your words are a reflection of what you're thinking and feeling and your choice of words also shape your experiences.

Rule 5: As your marriage or relationship matures, you might plan less and blurt more. Because you're not trying to woo your mate any longer, you will probably forget how mindful you used to be when you spoke. Odds are, you'll start to say whatever comes to mind (expressing your feelings in their rawest form) and not really think about how those words might impact your spouse/partner.

Bring mindfulness back to your communications

"My experience is what I agree to attend to." ~ William James

This famous quote highlights the selective nature of reality. With regards to a marriage or relationship, some people decide to attend to and focus on the missteps that happened during the day, while others choose to attend to the interactions that showed effort, good intention, and a willingness to move forward. The challenge is to do this even when it feels like the negatives are outweighing the positives.

What you attend to is also reflected in the words you use to describe your spouse/partner (to yourself and others), the feedback you give him/her, and how you speak to your mate in general.

To help you become more mindful of your words and the power they hold in your relationship (and in your life), let's look at a few different categories that your words can be placed into.

I. Connecting Words (words that enhance intimacy):

~Words that validate and affirm;

~Words that support;

~Words that inform and educate;

~Words that heal (yes, words have the power to heal, just ask any therapist about this).

II. Disconnecting Words (words that undermine intimacy):

~Words that wound and hurt;

~Words that judge;

~Words that minimize and invalidate;

~Words that prioritize the negatives.

So you have the power to use connecting or disconnecting words at any given moment in time, in every interaction that occurs between the two of you. While this can sound daunting, it can also be very empowering.

Action Step:

For a week straight, use only connecting words-no matter what words your spouse/partner (and others in your life) chooses to use.

The goal is to stick to your conviction and remain mindful of what comes out of your mouth, even during times of stress. And if you slip up here or there, be kind to yourself (watch the words you direct at yourself!) and bring yourself back to the goal of mindful communication.

Thinking about regaining the status of "Happily Married"? It is possible, and is not difficult if you think it is not. But exactly how you do so? If you would like the source most couples used to revive their relationship, strengthened their marriage, regain trust and love in the marriage and not giving up then visit this Helpful Site.

Divorce does not have to be your only option. Even if it feels as though your relationship can't be saved because of the ongoing conflicts between you and your spouse, it can be. There are techniques that you can begin using today that will not only stop a divorce, but will help also you build a stronger and more loving marriage. To learn more visit: Steps to Save Your Marriage


About the Creator

Reader insights

Be the first to share your insights about this piece.

How does it work?

Add your insights


There are no comments for this story

Be the first to respond and start the conversation.

Sign in to comment

    Find us on social media

    Miscellaneous links

    • Explore
    • Contact
    • Privacy Policy
    • Terms of Use
    • Support

    © 2024 Creatd, Inc. All Rights Reserved.