Hurricane Heart

July 4, 2003

In the rainy tail end of tropical storm Bill, my mom and her husband drove slowly through flooded streets from Chalmette to New Orleans East because I was in labor in the back of her SUV. I was 21. My baby’s father was in jail on minor marijuana charges. We’d been together since 2000, but that ship had sailed for me. He was from a nice middle class family with a nice home by the lake, but he continued to do street things to keep him in trouble. I couldn’t understand it because he didn’t have to. Anyway, I didn’t want to be with him anymore.

Fast forward 2 months. I wanted to go out and drink and have fun. I’d been stuck inside since having the baby so I went to a club on Lakeshore Drive and met a guy there. I was silly and thought no guy would want me after having a baby. I was ridiculous. Anyway, he was 20, tall but not skinny, dark skinned, 6’2. We exchanged numbers and eventually ended up dating.

He fell in love with my baby immediately the first time he saw her. He doted over her. He never put her down. People thought she was his for years, even his own family. Some probably still do.

He lived in the country- St. Charles parish. One day I went out there to meet his aunt and cousin, at which time the cousin divulged that my guy had actually only just turned 18. I was stunned. He had a full time job and I met him in a club. Lol oh well... we were hot and heavy by that time. I let it go. He lived in a trailer with 2 of his coworkers. I’d stay nights and cook and go back to the city during the week while he worked.

One day I showed up during the week and I went in his room and put my bag down. I noticed my comb full of blonde kankalon weave hair. Someone had combed their cheap weave and shedded all in my comb! I flipped. He told me his roomate had a girl over there and they were in his room. The roomate backed him up. I didn’t believe it but I let it go.

Eventually he decided to move to the New Orleans area with me and my baby. He immediately made friends with all the neighborhood people. I kept telling him not to hang with all those people he didn’t know. I didn’t know how they did things out in the country but in the city you keep folks away from your house.

Anyway as we lived together I noticed he did a lot of drugs- ex pills, Xanax, ketamine, cocaine, etc.... totally hard stuff. I would bitch about it but he would just take my car and leave. He would steal money from me. I would be so mad but I’d always take him back. Looking back I was so young and stupid. But I digress. One day about 10 months after we moved, we went to see some of his people out in the country. We were all sitting outside eating and his aunt asked me how my baby was. I said she was fine. She asked me why I left her alone so soon. I was confused. I said, “Patriot is 1 1/2.... she’s fine being left with my people....”

She then told me she is talking about the newborn.... Long story short, the blonde hair in the comb was his ex and he had gotten her pregnant the very night she left the hair in my comb. He had told people he had a new baby and they just assumed it was by me.

On the 30 minute drive back, he begged and pleaded and explained it away as a one time thing. He begged me not to leave and take my daughter from him. He had raised her from 2 months old and he loved her. He was the only father she knew, he said (which was true) and she loved him (and she did). So I went and picked up my baby and went to Walmart. I bought a case of newborn diapers, wipes, and other things and told him to drive to the girl’s house.

I was 23 at the time, this pregnant girl was 18 and in high school. We knocked on the door and her parents answered. They looked confused but let us in. I introduced myself and my child and he told them I was his girlfriend and we were there to see the baby. I handed them the items and we sat on the sofa and held the baby and talked. The baby looked exactly like him. (Side note: the girl smothered the baby 2 weeks later and said it died in its sleep... but that’s another story altogether).

August 2005 came and so did hurricane Katrina. We evacuated and after the dust settled in Texas, we landed on our feet. We both got really good paying jobs and I enrolled in school. FEMA paid me a huge lump sum and things were good for a moment. Then he started sleeping with the downstairs neighbor. He took $5,000 out of my bank account and bought her a car. I left his ass in Texas with that neighbor. I packed up my whole house with a UHaul, jumped and fought the neighbor, trashed the car, and drove back to Louisiana.

A few months later he came calling. Nope. A few years later he came calling again. Nope. 12 years later he looked me up on Facebook. Blocked.