How You Really Know
Sometimes you gotta be the one to burn the bridge to see if they will care enough to build it back to get to you. <3
Back in October I went through a breakup with someone I thought for sure would ALWAYS have my back, but in the long run of things, it was just another Karmic lesson.
I had a rough time with this, the fact that he was just so okay with walking away and not showing an ounce of any kind of feelings when it came to it; after nine months of being with him, with all my time and effort, and meeting his family... he simply walked away. He wanted to continue to be friends, but I “harshly” declined because, to me, you cannot be friends with someone that you have crossed so many lines with.
I've been searching myself and been more aware of so much since he left, and words were exchanged, but though I feel bad for the things I said and how I said them, I had burned the bridge so badly that to me there was never gonna be repair. Then I realized something in the search within myself on the many days and nights that I’d thought about him and the situation, and it’s so simple to me now.
It should never matter how bad a bridge is burned... if they truly care for you and always had, no matter what it is, and if they really want you, they WILL rebuild that bridge and get to you. If someone cares and loves you, they will find any way to get to you and vice versa. If the love was ever really real, and they truly see your worth and what you’ve dealt with... trust me when I tell you... they will come back to you.
He never rebuilt that bridge, though I did once for him. I swore to myself that no matter how much I loved him or cared, I couldn’t do it a second time because I wasn’t even sure he would do it for me... and he proved me right. After I pretty much begged for what I knew I deserved... he stood and stated I was right and he was stupid... and although I was hopeful... my hope diminished shortly after.
Don’t build that bridge if you had already kept running after them to save what you held so precious in your heart when they never reciprocated. Love you and heal you because what is meant for you will be.
Don’t lose sleep over someone who would stay up and party all night without saying a word, don’t cry over someone who is laughing it up while he knows you’re upset, and never ever beat yourself up over someone who is beating themselves up with drugs who is really not giving a shit about the real priorities they had promised you.
You weren’t handed the situation if you were not able to handle it and nothing in life is coincidence. The hurt I felt fueled me into loving me more and focusing on what makes me happy and my passions. And it is beyond true when they state that when someone shows you their true colors... please don’t waste your time in repainting how you see them... it’ll only wash off after so long.
Be strong and courageous; you aren’t alone in anything you do or feel or see. If you know you and know your worth, settle for nothing and gain all your worthy of.
It’s now February...
I have a new job title and I am glowing... stop letting them dim your light... burn that bridge and see if they come and if they don’t... well, keep going and don’t stop.