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How To Save Your Marriage From Divorce (How To Stop A Divorce From Happening)

Isn't it frustrating that you have to spend your time trying to figure out how to save your marriage from divorce, when it seems like everyone else is walking around happy and in perfect little marriages. This article will show you exactly how to stop a divorce from happening.

By Daisy AylaPublished 2 years ago 6 min read
How To Save Your Marriage From Divorce (How To Stop A Divorce From Happening)
Photo by Jonathan Borba on Unsplash

There are more ways to cause damage to your marriage than there are ways to help heal your marriage. However, the tips to avoid divorce are effective when they come from tried and true sources. I believe that many marriages fail due to a passive approach to trying to get sympathy to save your marriage. Although this is one of the most natural reactions to marital problems it is more often than not the nail in the coffin.

To curl up and avoid the reality of life when love starts to fade only makes you less loveable and therefore speeds up this process. Even if you are the only one in your marriage willing to put forth the extra effort you can still make it work. Things are never what they seem. Always keep this in mind when you are dealing with your relationship. Nothing is certain unless you give up then it IS over.

In order to avoid divorce you must begin to heal yourself. Here I will outline certain critical steps to begin healing your marriage relationship and ultimately save your marriage.

1.GET MOTIVATED Get up, get out and get going with the rest of your life. Try and forget about what is going on in your married life if only for a few hours. This will get your blood flowing and your serotonin levels UP. You will gain a fresh perspective on the problem and ultimately gain some much needed energy. This is crucial to anyone suffering any emotional setbacks in life I do not know of one single problem solved by closing down being passive and waiting for things to get better. You have to make them better and you CAN do this.

2.IDENTIFY YOUR PROBLEMS Please try to take inventory of yourself first. Nothing gets solved when the blame game starts. So many times when couples are having trouble they project blame on each other. If he would only listen, She doesn't even try to. If you can try to find some things about yourself that you can change for the better this will begin to show in your life and then your relationship will improve.

3.IDENTIFY THE ONE MAJOR ISSUE Laser focus your target issue so that you don't waste time on unimportant things that can be fixed once your back on track. It is very important to choose your battles wisely. Often times couple will transfer their concerns in order to avoid the real problem. You will have more luck focusing on the one thing that is breaking you apart and eliminate it, than just trying to fix everything all at once.

4.PRACTICE LISTENING When I suggest this I mean really listening not just waiting to respond and say what you have to say. If you can truly listen to your spouse then it might make things much easier to understand the underlying issues and concerns that are at play here. This can help in so many untold ways. We are all guilty of bad listening skills sometimes. It is always a continuing practice that never ends. The best listeners make the best communicators and creates great communications. Some really good conversations can come from those who are closest to us and really know the real us.

5. DEVELOP NEW TACTICS TO APPROACH YOUR CONCERNS Obviously the ways you address your problems are currently not working all that well. Find new creative ways that will work like using *I* statements when your asking for changes. When your spouse does something that your not happy with address it right away before it builds up and gets out of hand. Think about it first and then with calm and collective premeditation help them understand the reason behind your requests in place of pointing a judgemental finger.

6. BUILD CONFIDENCE This one ties in with number one and I believe getting motivated during times of emotional duress is most important. It can be so tempting to want to shut down and say 'hang it all' but as said this is a guarantee to failure. If you build confidence outside of your marriage relationship it will spill over into your love life. Figure out what it is you lack in your life outside of your marriage and get it. Create small goals at first then build to bigger ones which build confidence. This does wonders for your self-esteem. Having good self esteem changes everything about how you perceive the world around you. Suddenly things are possible where before you were helpless to change things.

7.APPRECIATE YOUR DIFFERENCES You hopefully did not get married with the intention of changing your loved one into someone or something they are not. A good way to avoid conflict is to try and understand what the other person is going through. Too many times people want to change others' behaviors that bother them. A good way to do this is to ask yourself the right questions like: "Why does this bother me so?" "Did it always bother me?" Sometimes these questions you ask yourself can resolve the issue before anything else is needed. Remember your vows and take them seriously. You should love this person for who they are inside.

8. ASSERTIVE UNDERSTANDING Yourself respect is beyond price and although you may feel at times that you will do anything to save your marriage you should not jeopardize yourself integrity or respect. If your spouse truly loves and respects you they will not ask anything of you that would compromise your principals. There are times when you will have to put your foot down and say "I love you but I am not going to do that." When doing this be strong and help them to understand your situation in an assertive way. Demanding respect brings characteristics to the table that are appealing and attractive.

9.KNOWING WHEN SILENCE WORKS I am not suggesting ignoring in any way in fact just the opposite. If you are having problems some of the most impressive responses are silence. This can be unbelievably affective if used properly. It is an artform in communication technique to know at which point silence is the most appropriate and effective response. Sometimes when we argue the only way to handle it is to let it go.

The best advice I have ever been given is:

It can be hard to understand that the only way to let the clouded, muddy water clear is to just leave it alone.

10.HONESTY HONESTY HONESTY This one is tactic one to be placed before all things we do with our love. You must be honest with yourself with your spouse and with the whole of the relationship in order to fix things. Too many problems creep up and sprout out of dishonesty. Treat them like you would want to be treated is a golden rule for a reason.

Honesty is extremely rewarding and most of all unpredictable. I cannot tell you how many times being completely honest has helped my relationships when I thought it would doom it.

There are many things that we can do to help out our marriage relationship no matter how bad things might seem. The one thing that is certain to speed up failure is giving-up. Emotional pain is one of the strongest there is, you must overcome this. Whatever it takes outside help is suggested here. There have been amazing turn arounds in couples whom where thought destined to divorce.

You will need to implement the right course of action and get outside, objective information that works.

Remember that anything is possible; and if you put your whole heart into something you can achieve what others see as miracles. As said the top tip to avoid divorce is to start the healing with you. You will need to find the right professional information if you are attempting this alone. It can be done, with the help people who know about what you are going through.

Pay Close Attention Here-

Now listen carefully! Take 2 minutes to read the next page and you'll discover a stunning trick that will make your spouse love you for the rest of their lives even if they are this close to walking out the door. There is a set of easy-to-follow psychological tricks which will save your marriage and get you back to that place you once were - in love, committed, and excited about the future - within a few days guaranteed. I strongly urge you to read everything on the next page before it's too late and time runs out- Click Here

Now you can stop your divorce or lover's rejection…even if your situation seems hopeless! There are specific techniques that will show you exactly what to do and what to say to get your spouse back in your arms- Especially if you are the only one trying… Visit this Helpful Site to find out more.


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    DAWritten by Daisy Ayla

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