How to raise a child with high emotional intelligence?

Emotional intelligence is a word that has been mentioned many times in recent years at the level of parenting education.

It is undeniable that "emotional intelligence" plays a crucial role in our lives and work.

People with high emotional intelligence, for example, are more capable of expressing emotions and empathizing, so they can handle interpersonal relationships with ease and bring more opportunities and success than people with low emotional intelligence.

Low emotional intelligence will lack the ability to think differently, and lack empathy, so often embarrassment and missed opportunities.

As Dr. German, a physiologist at Harvard University said.

IQ accounts for only 20% of your success, while the proportion of emotional intelligence is as high as 80%.

Therefore, many parents today attach great importance to their children's emotional intelligence, and the emotional intelligence of children can be understood in our daily lives.

1. low emotional intelligence children are easy to see through

This time back home with the second baby, the results met with an embarrassing thing, is in and relative and friend's dinner.

The drinking male comrades sat at a table, and the women and children sat at a table.

At the table next to my sister-in-law is my cousin's child, Tats, my sister-in-law thought the child's short hands may not be able to dish, so he thoughtfully asked what he wanted to eat.

I didn't expect that just after asking Sundas would be stern-faced and angry at my sister-in-law: "You don't care about me!".

In an instant, the lively meal suddenly quieted down, at another table of cousins the stupid son of these incomprehensible words is half dead, pull up the stupid child is a fat beating.

To be honest, children like Sundas can't say they don't know the rules and have no manners, but they can't empathize and think differently, and to put it bluntly, their emotional quotient is too low.

We can find that the low emotional intelligence of children often likes to put some "mantra" hanging in their mouth.

2. low emotional intelligence of children often say these 3 "mantras"

The famous American psychologist, Harvard psychology professor Daniel Goldman wrote the book "emotional intelligence" (which dominated the U.S. best-seller list for a year and a half)

He categorized emotional intelligence into the following 5 components.

The ability to perceive self-emotions.

The ability to manage one's emotions.

The ability to withstand frustration in the face of it.

The ability to understand the feelings of others.

The ability to manage interpersonal relationships.

The above can be reflected through a person's treatment of people, speech, and behavior because the expression of language can most intuitively see a person's emotional intelligence high or low.

And low emotional intelligence children love to say these 3 "mantras":

1, "leave me alone"

Emotional intelligence refers not only to how good your people are, emotional management is also one of the emotional intelligence.

A child prone to anger, and tantrums, must have problems in the management of self-emotions.

Just like Sundas, he likes to express his out-of-control emotions through "anger", and "leave me alone" is the most common mantra for emotional outbursts.

This mantra is just a way for children to vent their stress when they can't control their emotions.

But usually, this method not only can not solve the problem but also often make the situation worse and worse.

2, "my things you do not touch"

Just now we said, interpersonal relationships and understanding of others are the key components of "emotional intelligence".

"Willing to share" can best reflect these two abilities.

As Daniel Goldman says, "Willingness to share" is a sign of a child's high emotional intelligence and an important factor in the development of a child's social personality.

If a child is self-centered and takes everything for himself or herself, without regard for the feelings of others, it is difficult for a child to be happy without relationships.

A child who is "willing to share" will not only gain the favor of others but more importantly, gain inner happiness and warmth.

Mark Twain said.

You can take care of your sorrow. If you want to fully experience the taste of joy, you must have someone to share.

3. "I'm the best in the world"

There used to be a TV show, there was a boy who was a child who saw everything.

Because the family is very good, with excellent grades, people he does not see in the eyes, the poor students are not in his social circle.

And when the heroine appeared and beat him, he only questioned the other party's "cheating" and still felt that he was "the most powerful person in the world".

If a child is afraid to face his weaknesses when he encounters difficulties, he will certainly not be afraid to face failure and will end up in the dilemma of losing again and again.

With a good mind to face failure is a high emotional intelligence performance, at least in this path of life they can face life positively.

3. how to let children improve their emotional intelligence?

First, not to spoil the child.

The biggest problem with spoiled children is that they can't see the sorrows and joys of others, and naturally, they can't empathize with them, and then they can't talk about respecting and taking into account the feelings of others.

Therefore, for parents, the basis for improving the emotional intelligence of their children is to avoid spoiling behavior.

Only when children can hear different voices and feel different emotions can they make corrections and changes.

Second, children face their emotions head-on.

If a child can't manage his emotions, then he will choose the worst kind from the millions of ways to express his emotions.

Therefore, parents must teach their children how to vent their emotions.

For example, when a child is depressed, we can do a parent-child communication with the child, or go to the park to run and play happily, and then simply let the child cry a lot to vent their emotions.

When the child is done venting we can then teach the child how to manage his or her emotions when faced with such a situation.

In this way, the child is taught to think differently, to the greatest extent possible, to teach children how to properly solve problems, but also to improve the child's emotional intelligence.

We always say: IQ is the starting point is also a person's upper limit, and emotional intelligence determines the end of a person.

So, do you have anything to say about your child's emotional intelligence?