How to make yourself a popular person

Being a popular person is almost everyone's dream, but few people can truly be as popular as a "lover" when looking around.

"Like" is a kind of wonderful feeling, just like love often can not be accurately expressed in words, but can only be experienced by the heart, although the heart knows who knows the popular person, but unfortunately, this person is often not yourself.

In fact, if you think about it, people who are popular tend to have the same traits, and this trait is especially endearing in any situation.

There are four temperament types of people, namely, sanguine, choleric, mucinous and depressive. Each type has different personality traits that, to some extent, determine popularity in interpersonal communication. If, from this perspective, everyone's temperament type is fixed, is it impossible for people with unsociable temperament types to make themselves popular?

Not too!

We can summarize the behavior characteristics of those popular people and turn them into our own behavior habits, which can also make us gradually become a popular person. So what are the behaviors of popular people that we can learn from?

1. Make a good first impression

"A good first impression is the ticket to the door," said Carnegie. Popular people tend to pay great attention to the first impression they make on others.

People don't like others to label themselves, but often unconsciously label others, because it is the most convenient way to know a person. When you meet others by chance, do not understand each other, and your actions as the first signal hit in the eyes of others, become others with their psychological set to give you a score, the basis of the mark. This is the primacy effect at work in interpersonal interactions.

How to "show up" in order to let themselves win the jackpot?

First, you should smile and give people a warm, kind, friendly and sincere impression.

Secondly, the dress should be neat and generous, give people rigorous, self-love, cultured impression;

Third, appropriate manners and manners, to be neither servile nor overbearing, dignified, relaxed and natural, to do less listening, but also can come to a little humor, enhance the good impression of others on you.

Although the first impression is not always correct, it is the clearest and most firm, and determines the course of the subsequent interaction.

2. Communicate with people in a cordial manner

"Affinity" is a concept in chemistry that refers specifically to the association between one atom and another. It is now commonly used to describe a friendly gesture from one person to another that is an incentive to cooperate.

A friendly attitude is a catalyst in communication and can quickly close the distance between each other -- a friendly smile will make people feel warm in the heart, a cold face will be a thousand miles away.

Friendly people are no shelf people, no matter how high their social status, how much achievement, are not arrogant, defiant, but put themselves in an equal position with others.

Cordial people are generally people with mind and pattern. Li Ka-shing's philosophy of life is to "build self and pursue no self", which means to have the ability to make yourself strong and integrate yourself into life at the same time, so that people can accept and like you without feeling pressure.

3, can carefully experience and meet the needs of others

People's needs are diverse, but the needs in interpersonal communication are mainly reflected in the need of affinity, approval and achievement.

(1) Meet affinity needs with a friendly attitude

Affinity psychology is the desire that people are willing to be close to others because of the fear of loneliness. It is a kind of need for survival in the process of human evolution and development.

Affinity psychology is often produced in alone or in a strange environment, because each person's tolerance is different, different people's affinity psychology strength is not the same.

When you are on a long train journey, strangers around you may strike up a conversation with you. If you reciprocate kindly, chatting about local customs and what you have seen and heard without involving privacy or confidentiality will definitely bring a different scenery to your boring life on the road.

The new person in the unit, home in the other place, no friends, if you warmly invite him to participate in activities or introduce him to other friends, he will be sincerely grateful to you.

(2) with encouraging words to meet the need for praise

Everyone wants to be encouraged and praised by others to satisfy his own need for approval. When you inspire people with sincere words of praise and trust, it not only makes them feel grateful for your recognition, but it also inspires confidence to continue with you.

Praise must be sincere and heartfelt. Be good at finding out what makes people different from others in the details and then compliment them.

(3) Meet the need for achievement with sincere action

Success can reflect the value of life, is everyone's pursuit of the goal, achievement motivation always contains the pursuit of success, prevent failure, better than others.

Those with a high sense of accomplishment are very active in their work, study and career adventure. What they need is practical help on the road to their achievements. When you give them the materials they need, the books they need, and the friends who can help them, you will gain their respect and goodwill.

In short, daily communication always pay attention to understand what the real needs of others are, to meet their needs, to become a welcome person.

4. Seeing each other more often helps warm up feelings

In psychology, there is a "double-viewing effect", in which people prefer things that are more familiar to them.

Psychologists have done an experiment: in a university female dormitory randomly selected several dormitory, gave them different flavors of drinks, and then asked several dormitory female students can taste the drinks on the grounds of walking around in the dormitory, but not to meet. Over time, psychologists assessed their familiarity and found that the more they met, the more they liked each other; And the less often they saw each other or not at all, the less they liked each other.

The above experiments confirm the psychological basis of the common saying "the more relatives go, the closer they become" and "a distant relative is better than a close neighbor". Frequent walking, the more contact opportunities, the more familiar with each other, the more intimate relationship.

A lot of times, meet time is not as long as meet times much, because meet time is long not only in order to eliminate the unfamiliar feeling between each other, can produce friction even because of time is long.

People who are popular tend to take advantage of this "double-checking effect" by creating opportunities for contact and increasing familiarity with each other, thus making both parties attractive.

Reasonable use of "multi-view effect", we should pay attention to two points: the premise of using multi-view effect is that you give people the first impression is not bad, otherwise it will backfire; Don't be too long at a time. Give each other a memory to leave space for the next meeting.

5, is a person with a sense of humor

Everyone likes to be happy and wants to spend every moment happily, so those who can laugh and make everyone happy are generally the people we like to approach.

6. Open-minded and warm-hearted

Everyone likes people who are happy every day. Their optimism will unconsciously infect those around them and make others happy too.

The warm-hearted people in the group will always be respected, they will always come forward when others need help, sometimes even will not care about their own interests to benefit everyone, why not be welcomed by everyone?

To sum up, a popular person is a careful person, he is good at observing and meeting the needs of others, good at grasping the favorable factors to create a harmonious atmosphere between people, but also has a good personality quality and cultivation, every move, every twinkle and smile will produce irresistible attraction.