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How To Know When To Move In Together: 8 Important Signs To Look Out For

It is a significant step in a relationship that will change your life

By Rick JamesonPublished 2 years ago 5 min read
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It is a significant step in a relationship that will change your life. Even if you share your space, each of you has a place you can call home for solitude. A neon green couch is what you want. You get a neon green couch. You have the final say.

It's important to think about all aspects when you decide to move in together. So much will change. This expert advice will help you determine if your partner is ready to make this change or if it's too soon.

Here are some things to consider before you move in with your partner.

According to Rachel Freidus, LMFT, before moving in with someone you love, it is important to have a discussion about both the practical as well as emotional aspects of living together. I would recommend that you have a conversation about logistics, finances, as well as your feelings about living together.

She suggests that we talk about practical issues such as:

  • Where you will live
  • Types of residences that you are interested in
  • How to furnish your new home
  • Both parties will agree on how expenses are to be divided.
  • How to manage household responsibilities
  • Your work and sleep schedules
  • What do you think will look like if you have only time ?

Freidus states, "In addition to the conversation, it is important that you are together in the same physical space as the other person enough to understand what living with them would be like." Spend weekends and evenings with your partner. Go together to the grocery store. Participate in daily activities together. Enjoy vacations together. Spend as much time as you can together to make sure that you feel secure about your decision to live together.

Paul C. Brunson is a professional matchmaker who hosts the UK dating shows Married at First Sight as well as Celebs go Dating. He claims that the No. Behavioral consistency is the most important thing to look at before you move in with your partner. It is important to understand what you can expect. He explains that behavioral consistency is the tendency of people to behave today in a manner that is consistent with their past behavior or decisions. This metric is crucial because it allows you to trust your partner. You should never share your life or move in with anyone you don't trust.

Assess your partner's behavior honestly and see if it is consistent with how you would live with them. Brunson says, "If you see erratic behavior that's unpredictable, irregular or illogical for the circumstances, that is someone I wouldn't be willing to share keys of a home or my soul with."

Five signs that you are ready to move in with your partner:

1. You have had productive discussions about the possibility of moving.

Are your discussions about financial and logistical aspects of moving going well? Freidus believes that these conversations are a great way for you to assess your ability to compromise and agree with your partner--a critical element of living together.

2. Your partner has been with you for a long time, so you are familiar with him.

For short periods of time, anyone can be the most attractive version of themselves. Brunson and Freidus both recommend spending time together to assess your partner's behavior consistency. The tricky thing about behavioral consistency is that it doesn't depend on words, but actions. Brunson explains that it is important to watch your partner's actions over the course of time.

3. When there is conflict, you feel at ease sharing space.

Freidus says that even in discord, there should be some level of comfort between you. You will need to be able to communicate with your partner when you are angry, frustrated, or disagree. You want to feel at home and content in your own environment.

4. There are more factors that go into your reasons for moving in with someone you love than just circumstance.

"What makes us want live together?" Freidus encourages you to ask each other this question. It shouldn't be about convenience. You might want to reconsider if you are only moving in together because you have to save money, or because your leases expire. You must confirm that you both have a genuine desire for this step, regardless of external factors.

5. The idea is exciting to you.

Freidus suggests that even if you are nervous Freidus recommends that you and your partner be excited about moving in together. The relationship should be happy. This should be a happy time where you are excited to make the idea a reality.

There are signs it could be too soon

1. Someone feels pressured.

You should not be forced to move in with your romantic partner. You shouldn't have to make it happen under coercion. Freidus suggests that you make sure you are not acting out of obligation or because you feel you "should" or "supposed" to move in with your partner at this stage of your relationship. Instead, make sure you do it because you desire to live together. There will be regrets if it doesn't happen with 100% of your will.

2. You feel a lot of anxiety when you think about moving in with your partner.

Your intuition is important. Freidus assures that "Nerves" are normal. "But if nerves feel like panic or dread, it is important to take time to understand them and not rush to act.

3. It's not always easy to feel secure with your partner.

This red flag is huge. It's over. Freidus states that moving in with your partner will not make you feel more secure and safe.

Brunson stresses the importance of trust when sharing your home. It is essential to believe that you are making the right choice and that the right person is in your home. You may still be unsure about your partner and whether or not they are able to create a positive living space.

The bottom line.

To sustain healthy cohabitation, it takes more than financial support and love. It's much harder to divorce someone you live with.

Freidus suggests that you have regular discussions with your partner once you make the decision to move in together. This includes managing household responsibilities, scheduling work, and giving space when needed. You will be able to continue to navigate this rewarding experience, which can bring you closer to your partner.

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