How to Handle a Possessive Partner without Losing Their Trust
Understanding the link between love and obsession.
Jealousy is a natural human emotion that most people experience in many aspects of life, including romance.
It is common to expect jealousy when a partner shows affection or love for another person.
There’s nothing wrong with being jealous, but it’s healthy to talk about those feelings with your partner. This doesn’t mean we should accept controlling behavior from a jealous partner or blame our insecurities on them.
Possessiveness and control are not loving behaviors in any type of relationship.
The thin line between love and lust
As humans, we have a deep primal desire to be important to someone else, to know that if we need them, they are there for us.
Many of us think of love and lust as entirely different things. While one is associated with emotional closeness and long-term relationships, the other is associated with physical attraction and one-night stands.
Lust is driven by a hormonal desire for sexual satisfaction. It is an intense feeling that dominates our thoughts and can push us to do things against our best judgment to satisfy our desire.
Lust activates the part of the brain associated with motivation and emotions. The desire for sexual satisfaction drives us to seek sexual partners.
Love, on the other hand, lights up the part of our brain and activates calm, emotional unity, and security.
Feelings of love are related to arousal, the desire for emotional connection, and the intrusive thought of the loved one. It involves the reward center of the brain and can mimic the feeling of drug addiction.
The most commonly understood distinction between lust and love is that lust is purely physical and sexual, while love involves caring for someone who is far more important than a source of sexual desire and satisfaction.
However, it’s worth noting that both lust and love activate a part of the striatum, a part of the brain that receives messages about memory and emotions.
Lust can turn into love because our brains are essentially set up to associate sex and lust with attachment and love.
When we are attracted to someone, the brain produces “feel good” chemicals like dopamine and norepinephrine that influence the same pathways associated with drug use and addictive behavior.
This phenomenon explains the obsessive and euphoric behavior often observed in the early stages of romantic relationships.
Dealing with an obsessive partner
The first stages of a relationship are guys with affection, attachment, and lust. As the relationship progresses, you begin to feel loved and safe.
When we love something so much, we want to see it every day and then keep it by our side every minute of the day. We get angry when they don’t tell us where they are going and what they are doing.
At this point, jealousy and possessions have taken up residence in our best judgment.
By possession, I mean to control or own something. But you can’t really own a person, of course, but some people try.
To help you deal with a possessive partner, make a list of reasons why they should stop doing what they are doing. Include occasions that made you feel controlled and unhappy.
Make it clear to them that each individual should be alone to do what he/she has to do for themselves.
There is nothing wrong with setting boundaries. Explain to your partner what makes you uncomfortable and let him know it’s okay to be jealous as long as they don’t act on their feelings about you and do something drastic.
Relationships take work, which is why it is important to understand your emotional and physical needs in order to know when someone isn’t meant for you.
Jessey Anthony is a motivational speaker, fitness coach and relationship expert who helps people become confident in themselves in any challenges they face in life. Sign up to my newsletter & more cool stuff.
This article appeared here.