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How to get over rejection

moving on

By Gracia Benita KafundaPublished 4 years ago 3 min read
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How to get over rejection
Photo by Anthony Tran on Unsplash

5 Steps to Getting Over Him

Most of us can probably relate to the experience of loving someone who didn’t love us back. Women especially find it hard to move on from such experiences as we are constantly moved by our emotions. The good news is I have put together a few tricks that can help you overcome these emotions.

1. Acceptance

There are quite a few things to acknowledge before you can really move on

• Accept that he doesn’t love you

• He does not want you

• He probably has his eyes set on someone else

• Understand that emotions are only temporary and time heals all pain

• Love doesn’t hurt, someone who doesn’t know how to love, hurts you

• The more you talk about him, the more you love him. So STOP talking about him

• You don’t need to understand something before you move on; for example, you don’t need to understand why he doesn’t like you

• Guys are logical when it comes to dating

• Emotions makes you lose control

2. Distance

Distance often results in emotional detachment. Think of your family members and friends, whom you don’t keep in touch with; you tend to be less emotionally attached to them, right?

Distance gives you the space to get used to not having him in your life. It is hard at first. It hurts and you will crave for his attention. Depending on your relationship with him, he may even pop up to check up on you, once he notices you are withdrawing, and you will get excited that he contacted you first and you will immediately jump up to respond. But STOP do not respond just yet. It will take your very being to stop you from responding but it’s for your own benefit.

If you were to respond immediately, then you are back at square one, where he is in control and you are too emotionally attached,

Few tricks to help you keep the distance:

• Keep yourself busy, with work, friends, church, family, hobbies, doesn’t matter. Just remain busy

• When you find yourself missing him remember the pain you have been through loving him with no return

• Remember that he is probably chasing another

• Remind yourself that if you continue loving him, the day he will openly introduce his new girlfriend, that day not only will you break your heart but you would have also made a fool of yourself.

• Notice how I say you would break your own heart. That’s because this is an un-reciprocated love. So he is not to be blamed for your heartbreak.

3. Learn from the rejection

View the rejection as a mistake, so you can learn not to invest in emotions without security and assurance. Often mistakes make you seem foolish well now you know better than getting emotionally attached to a guy before he gets attached.

Now you would know that you have to wait for the guy to get emotionally attached first before you can synchronise with his feelings. Allow yourself to have more options so you don’t get attached too quickly.

4. Focus on you

After every mistake, pain and lessons learned, there comes a time whereby you have to re-shift your focus on what really matters. In this case, it is you. You have spent your time and emotions on someone who didn't appreciate nor want it. So now it is time you paid attention to you, your dreams and goals.

You may feel stuck, confused and not know what exactly you want but that's OK. Take your time go out with friends, listen to music, read a book, travel, write a book; whatever makes you happy, you deserve it.

5. Do not put yourself down because of rejection.

It is normal to feel bad when rejected. In Fact, a friend of mine always says rejection is a bitch! People will probably talk about how you were rejected and it will make it more painful to get over. Just remember that people will always talk rejected or not.

Know that you are worth loving and there is someone out there for you.

Now you know that you are capable of loving. You have learnt to be strong and logical when loving. It is true that love can leave a memory no one can steal but it can also leave a pain no one can heal but time. So guard your heart ♥ always.

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