HOW TO FIND YOUR SOULMATE

Don’t we all want to find that one person who brings us joy and helps quell our sorrows? I think probably most people want to find a soulmate in life.

How many people out there have heard any of the following:

“There’s someone out there who’s perfect for you, you just need to find them.”

“Good riddance, that person wasn’t right for you. Now you can find the one for you.”

“Everyone has a soul mate.”

Unfortunately, in our society, we grow up thinking we have a right to have this kind of joy and connection. We’re ENTITLED to a Cinderella romance complete with a prince who pursues you. It’s just THERE for the taking.

Finding your soulmate IS possible!

BUT we aren’t just entitled to it.

It takes a lot of hard work and self-reflection to find your soulmate. Are you willing to put in the time and effort to find your true soulmate?

How to Find Your Soulmate in Life!

The basic steps you need to find your soulmate are:

Adopt healthy qualities and practices

Be content to be single

Be rooted in abundance

Make changes in your life to widen your scope of people you meet

Keep an open mind

Know when you’ve found someone who could be “the one”

Develop healthy relationship habits and keep your soulmate with you for life

So let’s go understand a little more about finding your soulmate!

What is a soulmate?

A soulmate someone who you have an effortless connection with. They understand you, love you, and are there to walk with you through life, side by side.

Having said that, there are a few more distinctions we need to make. We’ll get there at the end of the article (Signs you’ve found your soul mate) so first, let’s read a personal story, things to avoid, and list some steps that YOU can take to find your own soulmate.

Finding My Soulmate

My story of finding my soulmate is very similar to many other stories out there. I’ll share my story, and then we can glean some of the highlights on how to meet your soulmate.

I worked on myself first

I first met the one when I was married to someone else. After two years cleaning up my act and leaving a toxic work environment, I did not realize that my home environment was toxic as well. I had worked on my communication skills, tried hard to compromise, found a good system of organization, managed my time well.

And I was insanely frustrated by how my then-husband and I never seemed to be on the same page in life. I was ready for kids, for adventure, for a house, for more furry, four-legged children to add love to my home. He was ready for none of it, he had only had a steady income for 2 years (out of the 6 years we had been together after college) and was unemployed at the time.

I changed my surroundings & kept an open mind

But I pushed for change and we moved to a different state for a new job.

So when I met my new coworker, Phil, we were just friends for a long time. In fact, he was not someone I would have considered dating for most of my life. (We joke that he checked off EVERYTHING on my “NO” list: he is a percussionist/drummer, sang tenor, and was a music major/band director.)

We wanted the same things

As Phil and I grew closer and I felt that he was truly someone that I could trust and confide in. He was patient and understanding. He was exactly where I was in life, and wanted the same things, which absolutely SHOCKED me! It made me realize that I truly had been settling when I married my first husband–there WERE indeed men out there who shared all the same values and desires in life that I did.

I was content being single

I had filed for divorce from my first husband, but I was not ready to dive headfirst into a new relationship. Even though I ultimately wanted a relationship, I knew that I would truly be content to be single for a while. And I knew that if it didn’t work out with Phil, that I would ultimately be much happier than I had been in my first marriage.

I just “knew”

It wasn’t until a few months later that Phil and I started to see each other romantically. He was patient… he was confident, make no mistake, but he respected my space after my divorce. When we took a road trip together four months after we had been together, I was absolutely sure that he was “the one” (and he was sure too!)

Because of his kindness, caring, dedication, and genuineness he kept my feet firmly planted next to his. I felt anchored. I felt safe.

We treated each other with compassion and respect, with passion and with caring.

We stepped into love simultaneously and we saw, and continue to see each other as equals.

We practice healthy relationship habits

Phil and I have been together for eight years, married for 5. I’m proud of our relationship. We’ve never actually fought. Sure, there have been times we’ve been angry at each other, or inadvertently done things to hurt the other person. We have expressed frustrations, especially after the kids came along.

But we have learned how to communicate with each other very well. We’re flexible with our expectations and work toward increasing each other’s happiness.

I’m his editor when he needs to draft an email or grad school application. He’s my rock when I’m feeling emotional. I make plans and spice up his life, and when I get too carried away with projects, he is the anchor that brings me back down to earth. We’re a good balance and complement each other nicely.

None of this would be possible if we both feared abandonment, or if we hadn’t developed patience, compassion, and communication skills.

The key was that we had both taken time to work on OURSELVES.