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How to Find Love Organically During Corona Times

A modern spin on traditional dating wisdom

By Eve BerkovichPublished 4 years ago 3 min read
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How to Find Love Organically During Corona Times
Photo by Roman Purtov on Unsplash

During these Corona Times, dating in “real life” might feel impossible. The world is embracing dating apps with more enthusiasm now than ever before.

However, as someone with little experience doing love the old fashioned way, I decided to challenge myself to find love organically, even amidst these unprecedented, unsexy times.

This article is going to be heterosexually oriented, because although I’m bisexual, I’m also afraid of dating women. That being said, let’s begin with an old fashioned dating principle: men should make the first move.

Ladies, I have to say I agree. As a woman, all I should have to do is write highly specific Medium articles about my dating preferences, allowing SEO to find my soulmate for me.

In the physical realm, tradition says that women can attract mates just by sitting still and looking pretty. However, there are many ways to optimize the so-called Pretty Sitty. Let's adapt this strategy to the modern day in order to attract our next lovers.

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Before embarking on the Pretty Sitty, we must first consider what to wear. I recommend an outfit that makes you feel both comfortable and sexy. Whenever it's safe and legal, I’ll go out wearing my favorite floral romper for a few reasons:

a) nothing says “absolute goddess” like a one-piece outfit you can safely do a cartwheel in (this will be important later)

b) the floral imagery will attract butterflies, enhancing my magical aura

c) potential lovers will know I like to romp and I dress for the occasion

Next, choose your location. When outside is safe and legal in your jurisdiction, I suggest setting up shop at either your local park or your local parking lot. For my next romp, I’ll be sitting on a bench by my favorite fountain.

You’ll also need to consider your props. I recommend bringing a journal so that you can write and make cute thinking faces. In your journal, write out your favorite self-love affirmations to tune your vibes. If you haven’t reached Level 9 of therapy yet, you can use my favorites for inspiration:

I am the most beautiful woman in this local park

My irresistibly sensual vibes are permeating the entirety of this local park

I am the main character of this general area

My God complex is 100% rational and justified

You could also try engaging in an activity that's more... active. The traditional strategy of “sitting still and looking pretty” is, indeed, limited. After all, you don’t want to waste your time with men who only like you for your undeniable hotness.

In the modern day, it’s crucial to polarize potential lovers as soon as possible. Eliminate any men who can’t stand seeing a hot girl do anything but sit still and look pretty. Choose your activity wisely. During my outing, I’ll be practicing TikTok dances in between writing my affirmations.

You can also try visualizing before you go out for your Pretty Sitty. In my case, my potential lover will see me practicing my TikTok dances and think, “That is the most beautiful, most magnificent goddess I’ve ever seen. Damn. I've never seen a white girl throw it back quite like that. And, her Woah is divine. I must go into that patch of wildflowers and make her a bouquet.”

He’ll bring me the flowers, and as a reward, I’ll show him my sick cartwheel. The rest will be history.

I have high hopes for you too, ladies. Time to ditch the apps and put our own twist on tried-and-true dating wisdom: Act weird at the park, and let your perfect lover come to you.

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About the Creator

Eve Berkovich

Broadcasting my genius

Instagram: @eve.berk

Join my delicious email list to transform your mindset: awakenyourgenius.substack.com

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