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How To Deal with Being Friend Zoned

Guys, it hurts. But we gotta get over this.

By Jacob HaroldPublished 6 years ago 4 min read
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If you're a normal guy, be it you're a total handsome guy or one of society's rejects like me, you've been friend zoned. If you're really young, not interested in romance, or just plain oblivious to that dreadful realm known as the friend zone, let me explain.

The "Friend Zone" is this phrase we use in dating to describe when a girl (or a guy) considers you or someone who wishes to date them more like a friend more than a possible love. Thus eliminating any chance of romance that could or would have been between the two people.

Like I mentioned above a couple lines ago, if you're a normal person, be it a lonely guy or girl, it's most likely that you have been friend zoned. And it could be because of a myriad of reasons. It's a lifelong friend who just doesn't feel the same. It's a person you just met and you think they're just ultimately perfect but they like someone else. It could be anything really but at one point in any person's life, you will be friend zoned and it will be okay. Despite your efforts, despite how long you care for the said person, at the end of the day, they just simply don't feel the same.

That's fine. And it's okay. This guide here will give you some tips on how to get over being friend zoned by that not so special someone and how to move on to perhaps someone better for you.

1. Determine if the rejection is permanent or limited.

Despite all the popular sayings about the friend zone, there is a chance of you escaping the dreaded place and perhaps getting yourself a ticket to love city. To determine if you even have a chance, you need to ask yourself and be honest, "Do I have a chance of being with this person?" If you find yourself saying no, that you've done practically everything there is to be done, then you need to accept that the person who just dumped you into the zone is not for you. However, if you do have a chance then stop reading and go get em, tiger!

2. Having now realized you're not for them, be mature about the situation. Do not be childish and ruin things.

Now having determined that you indeed cannot be with this person even if the planets were in a straight line and god himself said it was so, it is time to think about the more important and vital things to you. And that is...Well. You. After being friend zoned, the most common reaction is to be saddened or angry with the person who just unintentionally or intentionally hurt you. This is the wrong thing to do as it creates unneeded drama or stress. (Unless the circumstances are really terrible, then yeah. Be pissed. But I mean, you got friend zoned and then the person you wanted to date then goes after someone toxic or abusive.)

Instead what one should do in such a sad moment isn't to think of what you did wrong or what parts of you that weren't enough for them. Rather the proper thing to do is to accept the rejection with dignity. Knowing how to deal with such an awkward happenstance is key to remaining friends with said person. I'm not saying don't be sad. Be sad or angry. Just don't make it the other person's problem.

3. Think about what makes you worthy of love.

Now what is very important is that you should realize the good parts about you. Maybe you're handsome, maybe you can play Pac man like a pro. Think of whatever makes you an interesting or attractive person and focus on this in general idea. That whatever makes you interesting or attractive makes you someone worthy of love. Just because that one person does not see something in you does not mean that the next person won't. As cheesy and infuriating as the advice is, there are plenty of souls in this world for you to find and try to love. No matter if it's failure after failure, try and try again. You'll find someone who will make you feel amazing.

The fact that you're here reading this article only proves that you're seeking to improve upon what is possibly already good and lovable which is an invaluable trait in a lover. The idea that even if things are good, that you're looking to improve only shows that you are committed. And that is something to be proud of.

4. Fourth, and finally. Realize that now you don't need them, that you're worthy of love. Heal, move on, and begin to feel okay.

Now that you know that you're okay without this person, realized that the idea of you needing to love them is ludicrous, and everything else in between. It is now time to move on. Sure the whole point of being friend zoned is to keep being friends with someone who honestly doesn't want you, but moving on nonetheless romantically wise. If you can realize what is so amazing about you then there is nothing stopping you from putting yourself out in the world for someone to find and love.

Just don't, you know, become an egotistical douche about it. Don't get with anyone creepy or abusive out of desperateness, and please whatever you do, do not become a "nice guy." Meaning to become a guy who keeps complaining about how girls don't like him and go for handsome people way more and that nice guys finish last. He's wrong. And bitter. Don't be that guy.

Okay, well that's it for this article. I hope you found some genuine help from this if you were indeed friend zoned.

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About the Creator

Jacob Harold

22 year old man trying to navigate an ever changing society. I write fiction, poetry, and opinion pieces mostly. Trying to learn Japanese and Spanish. profile pic downloaded from sound-dream on Tumblr.

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