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How to Care for Your Girlfriend — Apply These 5 Tips

by Kate Feathers 8 days ago in dating

From an over-the-moon happy girlfriend

Photo by Sound On on Pexels

“Men are always the same,” women often tell me. “They shower you with compliments and gifts, and when they get bored of you, they dump you.” That’s only one of the most common complaints.

It’s hard being a good boyfriend in a world where men are generally hated for their behaviour — and often rightly so. How do you know what a good partner looks like when every woman complains about men and vice versa?

I usually dislike gender stereotypes, but sometimes it really does feel like women are from Venus and men are from Mars. This doesn’t mean they’re ultimately different — sometimes, men are just not sure what women actually want from them.

I find that the best way to know what women want is to listen to their complaints, and then do the opposite of the behaviour they dislike. Caring for your girlfriend doesn’t have to be hard. It’s actually pretty straightforward — the following five examples show as much.

Listen to her — and I mean actually

“Women have so much to say,” my boyfriend recently said. It really made me laugh because it definitely applies to me and my mum — we constantly chatter, even when there’s basically nothing to say, while my boyfriend just likes being quiet and processing things in peace.

This doesn’t apply to every single couple on planet Earth, however, women often do want to chat a little more than men — every time my partner comes home from a pub, I want to know all the news, the drama, who he likes, who he doesn’t like, what they did, what they talked about, what they drank… I want a story.

When I come home, on the other hand, all he does is ask if I had fun. That’s enough information for him. I mean, I generally start telling him all about it even before he even has a chance to pose more questions, so go figure.

Even when you don’t have that much to say, listen to your girlfriend when she speaks. Trust me, she’ll appreciate it. I love it when my partner mentions something I said ages ago because it shows me that he actually actively listens and remembers what I tell him.

Listening to your loved one shows that you care. Even when what she says doesn’t seem that interesting to you, it’s obviously important for her — so try and focus on her a little more.

After all, you’re lucky that she chooses to come home to you, love you and share all about her day.

Explain your feelings

My partner once told me he had no clue I cared so much about what he was thinking. He’s in the habit of keeping feelings and thoughts to himself because he’s never felt like it would interest anyone if he opened up.

I changed his mind. I love hearing about the small and absurd things that occur to him in-between daily tasks. I want to know about the little strange moments he’s found himself in throughout the day, even when they have no impact on anything whatsoever.

Most of all, I care about how he feels. If he’s excited, disappointed, conflicted, lazy or if he feels like he wants to be taken care of — men, you don’t need to keep this to yourself. It’s completely okay to open up to your partner and to share, however silly or unimportant it is.

People like knowing where they stand. What’s more, we like being reminded of your love — if you’re happy, say you’re happy. If you think we’re beautiful, voice it out loud. It will make a difference, even if you’ve told us hundreds of times before.

The same applies to negative feelings. If there’s something troubling you, bring it up and try to find a solution with your partner. You don’t have to bottle those feelings inside of yourself.

Be vulnerable, be open about your emotions, be authentic. A man who’s not afraid to discuss his feelings openly is a man I respect.

Surprise her

One of the great obstacles of a long-term relationship is monotony. Things can easily slip into a daily rhythm where everything always stays the same. As reassuring as this can often be, it also poses a complication — where’s the thrill? The sense of adventure?

I love monogamy and I wouldn’t change my partner for the world. However, after spending so many months together in quarantine and doing basically the same thing every single day, it was especially nice to get away together when the restrictions eased up. It was his idea to go on a weekend trip together, and I appreciated it a great deal.

You see, all my previous partners never came up with ideas for activities for us to do. They were comfortable not having to bother, going with the flow. And our relationships suffered as a result. I often felt like I was the only one trying to put some effort in.

Don’t become too lazy. Just because you’ve been together for so long doesn’t mean you can stop working on making her happy. Happy relationships take hard work and continuous effort.

So surprise her. Suggest going on a date somewhere, make her a nice dinner, buy her her favourite chocolate. She’ll appreciate it more than you might expect.

Respect her body and her choices

If there’s something I can’t stand, it’s a condescending entitled man.

If you want to treat your girlfriend right, remember to let her know how much you respect her — how you admire her strengths, believe in her goals and trust in her capability.

Luckily, women are nowadays all about empowering each other. It gives us more confidence, makes us happier and creates a great atmosphere among women because we know we aren’t in any sort of competition with each other.

Being empowered by my own partner is a wonderful part of having self-confidence as well. Even if we don’t need a man to prove to us that we’re worth it, it still feels nice and reassuring to know how much our partners believe in us.

What’s more, respect her body in the intimate parts of life and discuss these things with her. No means no. Show her that you understand and that you won’t get mad if she’s not in the mood. It will create a peaceful environment without any pressure.

Be kind and attentive to her

Men often complain about how they can’t figure out what a woman wants. Why are they always so unhappy?

One of the most essential things she wants you to be is kind and attentive. The fact that you’re not in the euphoric stage of falling in love anymore doesn’t mean you can stop giving her attention and treating her nice. Love consists of the little things.

Cuddle her when you watch a film together. Kiss her out of nowhere or tell her how much she means to you. Be kind, be gentle. She doesn’t need you to shower her with constant attention. She just wants to feel your love.

So let it out.

Final Thoughts

There is no universal recipe for how to care for your specific girlfriend because she’s an original individual, however, applying these five tips might give you great results.

I know because my partner does them all, and I’m very happy. “Happy wife, happy life,” they say.

Well, it applies to girlfriends too.

dating

Kate Feathers

Student of Literature & Languages, I write about relationships, self-improvement, feminism, writing and mental health. Contact me: [email protected]

Discover more of my work: https://linktr.ee/clumsylinguist

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