Humans logo

How To Calm An Angry Wife (Why Is My Wife So Angry At Me All The Time)

Are you trying to figure out how to calm an angry wife? If this is you, join the club. I have actually gone through this same situation and was actually not very sure I would be able to rescue my marriage. The fact is that a lot of men get to a point where they're thinking why is my wife so angry at me all the time... but there are ways to save a marriage in this circumstance.

By Daisy AylaPublished 2 years ago 6 min read

Anger in marriage is a very common problem facing most couples. In my professional opinion it is the number 1 reason why couples either divorce or split up. I believe that both men and women don't know how to deal with their anger in romantic relationships and they attempt to address it through passive aggression. By this I mean that they engage in the silent treatment, extra marital affairs, spending too much time at the office, etc.

Ask any marriage expert and they will tell you that the way to having a successful marriage is through open communication. Another word for this is assertiveness and dealing with anger head on. Addressing issues (within the relationship) and then moving on. Within your romantic relationship(s) do you manage to do this? Most don't.

I find that this is the one area of life (marriage) that they find the most difficult to be assertive in. Work, friends, no worries but romantic relationships... well that is another story.

There is no doubt that couples invest a lot of time, money and energy in their relationships and they will try anything to keep them together. However, in marriage nothing is certain and it is something that both parties need to work on everyday. I think the reason why couples don't have open communication is that they are scared that the other person will leave them.

The issue isn't conflict. Couples, especially those couples that come for couples counselling and are contemplating divorce are happy to argue and scream at each other. What they are not doing is effective conflict. What I mean by this is that they are not addressing an issue and moving on. Instead, what they normally do is have an argument and storm off without fully addressing the issue at hand.

So what happens, is that these issues, which I like to call Red Hot Buttons, keep on coming up as issues in the marriage and are usually the reason for the break-down in the relationship. As we all know, most marriages usually end through very minor events (e.g., the toothbrush being left out) happening. Why? Because this triggers a larger underlying issues (e.g., lack of respect).

It is important to note that there is a number of other factors that influence couples not being able to talk openly and properly about their anger. Time is a huge issue. Just having the time to talk, especially when kids and work come into the mix is often very difficult. My advice is that you make the time. That is why date nights, where you as a couple put away 3 hours every week to spend some quality time with each other to talk is so important for the health of your marriage.

It can also be very difficult to change the norms within a relationship. If you have been in a marriage for 20 years and the norm has been never to communicate open and honestly, it is difficult to wake up one morning and start this process. This is why both partners need to be involved and often coming to marriage counselling is an important first step.

Once couples understand that a marriage can be absolutely amazing as opposed to being satisfactory, then the they will make the decision every time to be assertive and open in their communication style. These skills are more than just relationship skills, they are life skills that can be applied in all areas of your life.

5 Common Reasons For Marital Conflict - Understanding and Resolving Marital Stress

In the United States, over half of all marriages end in divorce; and many more marriages are truly miserable unions - with constant bickering and fighting when spouses aren't simply avoiding each other altogether. So what's the deal? Why can't we all just get along? The real causes for marital conflict are much simpler than you might think; and, when you understand them, you've got a chance of creating a more harmonious relationship.

The real reason for marital conflict is stress - plain and simple. Stress is caused by many things; but simply understanding what stress is and how to deal with it can not only save your marriage, but save your life. Here are five of the most common reasons for stress and conflicts in marriages:

1. Money. One of the most common reasons for stress and arguments in marriages is money - how much there is, where it's coming from, and where it's going. The true nature of financial stress, however, is an underlying feeling of lack. If one or both partners in a marriage grew-up in poverty or lack, or have somehow been conditioned to think there isn't enough to go around, then there are likely to be problems. This type of stress also affects spending habits - which can create additional stress as it further drains the family funds. Stressed-out people spend their money on consumables to make themselves feel better, or to create diversions and distractions to soothe their anxiety. In the current U.S. and world economy, this is a very big and very real issue for most people.

2. Friends and/or Family. Enlightenment is not very common; and, if you're surrounded by friends and family, chances are there are personality conflicts that will interfere with your relationship. Poisonous or possessive friends, controlling family members, and even "nosy neighbors," can create tension and discord within a relationship with their judgments, opinions, and "advice."

3. Sex. Too much, not enough, or not the right kind of sex in a relationship is one of the bigger and more common reasons for marriage difficulties. Sex is one of the reasons people get married; and unmet expectations is a big reason for arguments, hard feelings, and divorce. Communication is a key element in overcoming these kinds of problems; and honest communication prior to marriage can help avoid them altogether. If you aren't compatible with the other person, it is crazy for either one of you to expect the other to "suffer through" the rest of their life. Be honest with yourself and your partner about your expectations; and be reasonable, as well.

4. Household duties. Oftentimes, men get married and think they've simply replaced the mother who used to pick-up their dirty laundry and prepare dinner for them - among other things. Women and men both fall into the trap of going from a blissful boyfriend/girlfriend relationship to one of high expectations placed on the other to provide the things and services that parents once provided for them. If you are a parent, do your kids a favor by teaching them how to take care of themselves. If you don't, they may get lucky and find someone who thrives on self-sacrifice; but, chances are, you're creating the ingredients for at least one failed marriage and a lot of unmet expectations and unhappiness.

5. Children/Child-rearing. Couples often have disagreements about how to raise children. Boys are usually raised differently than girls; so a husband would naturally have different ideas about how to raise a child than a wife does. Also, it is not likely that your parents raised you in the same way, or with the same values and habits, that your spouse was raised with. Again, communication and a unified front will help overcome this difficulty.

The bottom line is that you must decide what kind of marriage you want; and then you must communicate with your partner and find some happy middle-ground. Most people want to be happy and loved; they simply have different ideas about what these things mean - and how to go about creating them in a marriage. Take some time to communicate with your partner to resolve unmet expectations and conflicts before they lead to health problems, anger, divorce, or even violence. Marital conflict resolution is a skill-set few people are taught growing-up; but you can create a happy and loving relationship with a little care, attention, communication and effort. It is definitely worth the time and effort; and your health, happiness, and marriage depends on it.

Thinking about regaining the status of "Happily Married"? It is possible, and is not difficult if you think it is not. But exactly how you do so? If you would like the source most couples used to revive their relationship, strengthened their marriage, regain trust and love in the marriage and not giving up then visit Secrets To A Happy Marriage

Now you can stop your divorce or lover's rejection…even if your situation seems hopeless! There are specific techniques that will show you exactly what to do and what to say to get your spouse back in your arms- Especially if you are the only one trying… Visit this Helpful Site to find out more.


About the Creator

Reader insights

Be the first to share your insights about this piece.

How does it work?

Add your insights


There are no comments for this story

Be the first to respond and start the conversation.

Sign in to comment

    Find us on social media

    Miscellaneous links

    • Explore
    • Contact
    • Privacy Policy
    • Terms of Use
    • Support

    © 2024 Creatd, Inc. All Rights Reserved.