How to be Happy

How to be Happy

“Do not be content with showing friendship in words alone, let your heart burn with loving kindness for all who may cross your path.”

‘Abdul’Bahá, Paris Talks, number 1

It seems that generally, when we try to be happy, we seek something outside ourselves. However, If something can make us happy, it’s lack can make us unhappy too. We have given up control over our most important asset, our most coveted goal, our most desired aspiration.

What’s more, the search for happiness implies unhappiness. Were we happy in ourselves, we would have no need to seek happiness somewhere else.

The question becomes, “Is there something we can do in order to be happy within ourselves, regardless of circumstances?”. Perhaps you know, as I do, someone who seems naturally happy, perhaps an old person, smiling and laughing at their many limitations, at the fortunes and misfortunes of their life; perhaps a child, in a state of innocent contentment and joy. What is their secret?

Can we, in the middle of life, or perhaps near its end or its begining, dealing with the challenges of each stage, be happy and remain happy, or, if we become unhappy, make ourselves happy again?

Yes! Here comes the secret of happiness, so read on:

First, smile. A study conducted by the University of South Australia looked at the smile and It was found that smiling causes happiness. I tried it myself, yesterday I smiled all day, and at night I was quite happy. This afternoon, as happens so very often, I felt a wave of sadness subtly coming over me and I smiled. I really exaggerated, I looked at pictures of people smiling the Duchenne smile, and I forced my lips into a wide and high curve, my cheeks up, my eyes into a tight squint. The Duchenne smile was first discovered by the French anatomist Duchenne de Boulogne, in 1862. It is believed to be the genuine, spontaneous smile of happiness that basically wrinkles up your whole face, by mobilizing several muscles. Not only are the corners of your mouth pulled back, but your eye muscles get involved too, so you get crows` feet, bags under your eyes, a dent between your nose and cheeks... And I was amazed in that the wave was lifted from me, contentment took over, a fast-acting remedy indeed.

Second, let others see your smile, let others hear it . With your eyes, your face, your words, the tone of your voice, bend your heart upon showing them happiness. I work with calls over the internet and my clients and I can only hear each other's voice, but yesterday, after hearing this secret, I smiled for seven hours, while speaking to them; at first I had to force my facial muscles to the point of hurting a little, but soon it became natural. I could hear joy in my voice and, more often than not, I could soon hear it in theirs, confirming to me that I can not only make myself happy, it can infect others!

Third, keep it up. Smile each morning, whether you feel like it or not, and each time it should come more naturally. By smiling so much, you’ve taught your brain to be happy! When you see people, or if, like me, you talk to them without seeing them, smile, bring the smile into your voice, listen attentively to hear a smile in their voice too, look attentively to see a smile on their face. Suddenly, you are surrounded by smiles.

Don’t believe me? Try it! Find beautiful pictures of Duchenne smiles on the Internet, and make your face do the same, even if you have to force yourself, even if it hurts, maybe it will feel unnatural, maybe your voice will sound fake, but keep it up and you will see others become happy as you become happy.

Happy smiles!