How Not to Get The Girl

Hi everyone and welcome to the unrequited love society. Sorry boys, this one is not for you. Odds are if you clicked on this you've struggled with your fair share of finding love as a lesbian woman or you want to know what to look out for in the world. Well hi, my name is Savannah and this is my probably not so helpful guide to how to find potential love and avoid potential heartbreak. This will describe types of girls that you will generically come across and will also give you a list of things that I have done and you should never do in order to get the girl.

First rule of thumb is to NEVER FALL FOR THE BEST FRIEND!!!! I know we all want to and if you're me you have but, this rule applies for EVERYBODY!!!! Most of us want to have a fairy tale romance or the romantic comedy romance where you and your best friend end up marrying each other, but for most of us this will probably never happen. I've generally crushed on all of my best friends at least once in my life time and I have successfully been with a whopping zero of them. Just trust me, it isn't a good idea and if you pursue it anyway let me know how it goes.

The first type of girl is the straight girl, oh the beautiful and tempting straight girl. We all have been there and if you haven't well I have some bad news for you, it will happen. Now if you will picture her; she's beautiful, kind, funny, and has a personality as stunning as she is. She is everything you could want in a partner and then she says the dreadful words, "my boyfriend..." no matter what she says the two words my boyfriend are gut-wrenching. Your future girlfriend just friendzoned you and there's not anything you can do to change it. The likelihood of finding your way out of this one is a slim 5% and that's being generous. But who doesn't need a friend to talk about the atrocities of men with?

The next girl you will probably come across is the bisexual girl and don't we know the bisexual girl. She is stuck between a hard place and a cave? I don't know that seems a bit off putting. She likes both sexes and that's good for her, but it can sting if she leaves you for a man. But it's always worse when she leaves you for another woman; at least with a man, you can blame it on genetics. The bisexual girl can be fruitful, but also heartbreaking. This one leaves you at a 50% chance of successfully getting into a relationship and a much higher percentage of being hurt.

The last girl I'll be talking about is the incredibly friendly or flirty girl. This girl can be any sexuality, but she is most likely just being herself and not actually hitting on you. This one hurts the most because you can believe you're in something before you ever are or could be. She's just nice to everyone or she just flirts with everyone. With this girl, you can never be sure where you actually stand without asking due to her nature. The likelihood on this one is completely unknown. No matter what, she's always a good friend to keep around.

There are far more girl types out there but these are the three I've come across most. Now on to, the things you should definitely not do to get the girl.

1. Do NOT write on your arms how you feel about them! This not only is weird, but also will make you seem even weirder. For anybody I ever did this to, I'm super sorry. 6th grade was a really weird time for me.

2. Do NOT send them letters Now I know you're like what no, letters are super sweet. Letters can be super sweet and show that you care about someone once you're in a relationship with them; However, this is not what I'm talking about. Leaving notes for someone when you are not in a relationship with them is just creepy, no matter how sweet you thought it was. Giving them letters or putting them on their desk when they "aren't around or looking" is just a no. Again to anybody I ever did this to, I'm profusely sorry.

3. Do NOT use your feelings to make them feel bad This one took me the longest to realize I was doing, but it is a terrible thing. Just because you feel one way does not mean that you get to use those feelings to disregard how someone else feels. Reevaluate how you talk to someone, if you're telling them to not talk about certain things because it makes you feel bad. How do you think it feels on their end? This is by no means accusing anybody, but myself for such heinous crimes. I'm sorry to anybody I ever did this to.

4. Do NOT pretend to be someone you aren't!! I can say that I have catfished people before. This is a terrible thing that hurts a number of people. I couldn't be myself to these people because I thought I wasn't good enough and no matter how honest I was in words, I wasn't honest about who I was behind the screen. You should never have to be anybody but yourself in order for somebody to like you, in all honesty if you think you need to be somebody else for them to like you back take a step back and make sure you're actually ready for a relationship. If you are changing yourself in a number of ways to make yourself more attractive to someone else just remember that the truth always comes out in the end. You can't be someone else for the rest of time or you'll be miserable. To anybody that I have done this to, I'm incredibly sorry. I hurt you and I hurt myself because I was ashamed of myself. I never should've done any of the things that I did to you whilst under the guise of another person and I shouldn't have ever done them period. To those of you who want to change yourself for somebody else, find something in yourself that you love. You'll slowly start to learn to love every piece of you.

If you read this, thank you! I hope that somehow this finds you and helps you in any situation. If you need somebody reach out to me, I will listen and be there for you. Remember to be yourself and that you matter to someone, even if you think you matter to no one.