How NOT to Communicate

We all have times where we just don't see eye to eye with someone. And no, I'm not talking literally; I'm talking about communicating. Have you ever been in an argument and wish you hadn't said something? Or have you been hurt by something someone said, or didn't say? Well, these are examples of times when you're not properly communicating and probably should adjust your methods. Trust me it's better for everyone if you just avoid doing these things while communicating.

The absolute first thing you should avoid when communicating is NOT communicating. When you don't communicate it creates more problems along with confusion. No one likes to feel ignored and helpless because you simply don't want to communicate for whatever magical reason you make up. The key to good communication is mutually agreeing to talk things out and figure out what's wrong along with how you can come up with a joint solution.

The next thing you should avoid when communicating is texting. I cannot tell you enough how frustrating it is to try and get a point across over text. It just doesn't work, mainly because there's no possible way to know how someone is feeling by looking at a screen. What you need to do is put down the phone, get your lazy ass off the couch, drive to that person's house and really talk. That being said, make sure they agree to talk before you step foot into their home.

This one is important, so open your eyes and pay attention. The next thing to avoid is not giving them space. Let's say you drive to their house and they say they don't want to talk; don't go to their house the next day and keep asking them. Instead you should ask how long they need to collect their thoughts before they're ready to talk. Usually I'd say anywhere from a week to two weeks is best. Give them that time to think as well as taking that time to think for yourself. A lot of times we don't really take time to think about the situation, we just want to say what we have to say and make our point. The truth is, you may have missed something, so take the time and give them (and yourself) space.

That brings me to the next thing on the list. Avoid merely stating your opinion and not listening to the other person's point of view. We often find ourselves not understanding someone because we are too caught up in getting our point across we don't even think about their side. Really take the time to listen and understand how they are feeling. Step into their shoes and look through their eyes for once and maybe you'll have a clearer image as to why they feel the way they do. We have to realize that we aren't always right, and by looking through a different lens we can see the crazy puzzle of understanding come together and form a solution to the situation.

Don't listen to reply.

So there you have it: things that we do when communicating that we probably shouldn't do and the different ways we can fix them. Now I challenge you to go out there and communicate the right way and maybe you will truly begin to understand others.