How important is a boyfriend's family?

　　Have you guys ever been to your boyfriend's house?

　　As a girlfriend or future daughter-in-law, going to a man's house for the first time is definitely a challenge in life.

　　In my eyes, looking for a boyfriend and looking for a job are similar, going to a boyfriend's house is actually equivalent to an interview, only the interviewer is different.

　　The actual fact is, the other party is also looking at you.

　　Choose a person, in fact, is to choose a family, we are all combined with the shadow of the family of origin, found the original world the same thing, but there are so different presentation, before moving into marriage, seriously look at the family, is not in tune with you.

　　1, whether the family atmosphere is harmonious

　　The family has too much influence on a person, not only in the lifestyle, and will penetrate into all aspects.

　　A person, from a loving family, itself will not lack security, which is why many people do not want to choose a single-parent family out of the reason.

　　Because of the lack of some kind of love from childhood, repressed in the heart from childhood, in growing up, but will be released, manifested as suspicious, low self-esteem, etc..

　　Of course, this is not absolute. To a large extent, and their own efforts later in life also related.

　　Some children, precisely because they have seen more of their parents' disharmony, but more know to run their own family, because he knows firsthand the impact of a bad family on children.

　　2, parents get along mode

　　Here comes a question of the perception of marriage. For example, some families are men caring for women, such as my neighbors, the husband went to work outside, the wife at home with the children, the husband came back to do all kinds of housework, before getting up in the morning to go to work, but also to make breakfast.

　　Some families, is the male superior, men do not do anything, women busy. This is the perception of marriage, this perception is influenced by many factors, such as geography.

　　So, when you observe your boyfriend's parents getting along, look more at their relatives and friends, how they get along. If there is too much difference in perception, then you have to consider, whether to enter the family.

　　From the other side, the boyfriend's father's attitude towards the mother, directly affects the boyfriend's attitude towards you.

　　3, family history of disease or genetic history

　　No matter when, physical health is the first thing.

　　In the past, matchmakers matchmaking, the woman or man will send someone to secretly go to the neighborhood where the other party lives, trying to inquire, whether there is a family history of disease in the other family, especially with the genetic nature of the disease.

　　Although nowadays, it is difficult to inquire, but if conditions allow, it is still necessary to ask more people. Love is valuable, health is more expensive.

　　4, there is no family obsessed with gambling, domestic violence and other bad habits of people

　　Previously read an article that said that children raised from domestic violence families, the possibility of future domestic violence, than children raised from a normal family is much greater.

　　The reason is that the child in the former family, in fact, deep inside, he is more aware of the bad effects of domestic violence, but under the guidance of the parents' wrong way of handling things, the key is that when he encounters conflicts or problems, he does not have the right way to deal with them, and the reflex given by the family is: a problem - a violent solution.

　　The bottom line in choosing a man is that this man must not have defects in quality, such as gambling, violence, drug abuse, etc. This is the minimum bottom line.

　　Similarly, observe the family, whether there are bad habits of people, the family environment and atmosphere is really too important, you do not want, once married, to face a mess of bad things, right?

　　5, the family's family style

　　The reason we emphasize the family style is because modern families are talking less and less about establishing family style. But even if the specific rules about family style are no longer, but each home has a different temperament. It is important to observe more about the family's temperament and whether it matches yours.

　　On a more superficial level, it is the family's many values, whether and your three views are the same.

　　For example, from the boyfriend's parents' mode of living together, you can see that the family's attitude toward women, whether it is to maintain respect.

　　For example, the attitude towards money, is not extremely stingy. For example, through their words and actions, you can see their quality and cultivation, whether they deviate too much from your perception?

　　6, the parents' attitude towards their son

　　In ordinary life, I can hear many parents say: "I am now teaching my children a lot of life skills, such as cooking or something, is for when he has a daughter-in-law in the future, in case of a fight with his daughter-in-law, no one to cook, at least not hungry. However, he learned to cook, not to go to the daughter-in-law cooking, cooking, housework, these things should be the woman to do."

　　By the same token, there are many parents with daughters who make this statement.

　　If you think that sharing household chores is an extra payment, even if you do a little bit more, you feel that your child is at a disadvantage, and if you meet parents who hold this idea, you should beware.

　　This is the time to see how your boyfriend behaves at home. If everything is to listen to parents, completely a mama's boy, then I advise you, unless you want to be a mother, or hurry up and leave him.

　　If he knows how to take responsibility for the family, and you share the trivial points together, then as long as the future and his parents do not live together, it is still very good.

　　7, whether the parents respect the views of the children

　　The boyfriend's position in the family of origin is particularly important, there is no opinion, is not completely listen to the parents, psychologically there is no weaning, personality integrity, went to the boyfriend's parents home, more observation of the parents and boyfriend interaction, will be able to learn a thing or two.

　　This is very important and is directly related to the weight he will carry in the future when dealing with your relationship with his parents.

　　If his parents are more respectful of their son's views, more open-minded, then in case someday in the future, you and his parents have a disagreement, he can independently make a judgment, even if you take sides, you can also get the parents to understand.

　　8, is not particularly patriarchal

　　I strongly, strongly disapprove of a girl married to a patriarchal family, especially if the boyfriend's mother pays special attention to boys.

　　Just think, as a woman, even their own gender is not respected, the future will respect you? No.

　　Marriage or not, childbirth or not, are your own choice and rights, no one can force, even the biological parents are not allowed, let alone the other parent.

　　I have heard of families who dislike their daughters-in-law for not having sons, and say, "Either you have sons or you get a divorce." Usually such a family, the son is also the same, son preference, so together with the parents to put pressure on you.

　　When you encounter such a family, say no early, the sooner the better.