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How Empaths Love the Good and the Bad

by Jocelyn Joy Thomas 6 months ago in love
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The more you understand yourself the better love will be

Photo by Elijah Hiett on Unsplash

It seems unfair that a person so wired to love can have such a hard time with it. Yet, the truth is that for many empaths, no matter how much they want to love, it can be hard to find it. Or they do find it but it is with unavailable people.

It seems to boil down to two categories, empaths who simply cannot find love. Or those that do but it's with unavailable partners. The beauty of this is it doesn't matter which of these groups you find yourself in, they both require the same process to clear up.

Empaths really, really want to find love. This is undeniable. Knowing what the heart feels like intimately they truly want to share this with another person.

The desire for love is so strong that it can make the disappointments in love that much harder to bear.

Why Empaths Struggle with love

Empaths take on a lot that isn't theirs. Emotions, stress, physical symptoms, and intuitive information to name a few. This is particularly true with partners. So, many empaths subconsciously avoid it altogether out of a sense of overwhelm. Others, attract unavailable partners because these types come with a barrier to getting too close.

Such as an online long-distance relationship, that can never develop into a real-life relationship.

A married partner who will never actually leave their spouse.

A partner who is hot and cold so you never know quite where you stand with them.

Sound familiar? If you have had a pattern of relationships like these or a few relationships and you identify as an empath, chances are you need to develop yourself a bit more in the area of love. Getting to know your needs and boundaries better. So that you no longer love someone for their potential but rather for what they can actually deliver.

Love Yourself

In order to have a healthy and loving relationship with another person, you must first have one with yourself. This means taking time out for self-care and developing self-love.

This is done in a number of ways, but it all starts when you make the decision to put in the time and effort to truly care about yourself. This is how you start your self-love journey.

Do something meaningful for yourself every day. Give yourself a compliment, take yourself out to lunch, watch a movie, meditate, create something. One thing, each day, doesn't have to be big, but it does have to be meaningful.

Notice what makes you happy, and what stresses you out. Learn about you. Know yourself so that you know what your limits are and when you need time alone to recharge.

Communicate with your partner

When it comes to being in a relationship, communication is key. If you have a strong foundation of self-love, have worked on better boundaries, and know your own limits the next step is to communicate these to your partner.

Some helpful things for empaths in relationships to communicate.

Talk to your partner about your sensitivities. Make sure they respect them and that they are open to working with you. Chances are they might have some sensitivities of their own.

Let your partner know that you need alone time, it is just the way you are wired. Many empaths sleep in a different room than their partners or live in different homes so they avoid feeling engulfed.

Explain how much social time with others you can handle, you want to socialize but not so much that it drains you. This can strain the relationship if one partner is more extroverted, but communication and compromise can smooth things over.

Define your needs, first to yourself and then to your partner. They may change over time so be sure to check in with yourself before talking with your partner.

The path of love doesn't have to be a difficult one for empaths. It can be one full of joy, expression, and happiness. With a little work on yourself, and careful communication when in a relationship you can find your way to a happy, positive experience in love.

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About the author

Jocelyn Joy Thomas

Writer, spiritual teacher, and travel enthusiast. Enjoying the journey! Join my mailing list and receive a free guide on How to Meet Your Guides in Three Steps!

https://joysnewsletter.weebly.com/

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