How Do I Talk To My Husband About Being Unhappy (How To Tell Your Husband You're Unhappy)

At some point in the relationship, it is not uncommon for couples to struggle with good communication. Life gets busy, people get distracted with work, family and issues, and they lose that connectivity with each other. You know how it is, you feel like you don't have much to talk about, or the other person is side-tracked and not really listening, so you stop trying to communicate with each other.

"Conversation" becomes a series of short questions and answers, and even the odd grunt can surface.

So what can you do? How do you bring communication back into your relationship? You can't say it doesn't matter, because right now you must admit that it is hard to feel close to someone you cannot connect with verbally. I know... most guys would say, "who needs to talk, when you can let your fingers do the walking..." The thing is, the guy would also be the first to complain that 'she won't talk to me,' if his girl stopped conversing with him.

Sometimes people stop talking with each other because they lose sight of what they liked about their partner, and this 'colors' their conversations. They then attempt to convey what they want changed from a sense of resentment or frustration, and in the end, the conversation dries up. No-one likes to talk with someone who makes them feel bad about themselves.

The antidote to this is, before trying to talk about some issue between you, sit down and write down all the things you like and appreciate about your partner. When you are in a loving frame of mind about your spouse or partner, you can then approach them from a position of love and kindness. Sometimes, too, once you have written your list, the issue you want to deal with, changes, and the outcome you now want may be more advantageous to you both.

It is still important to actively listen to each other when you have your conversations. This is part of what good communication is all about. Try to see the issue from your partner's point of view, and as you listen seek to understand what they mean. If you are unsure, practice feeding back to them what you think you heard them say.

For example:

"When the dishes are left for me every night, I feel like I am being used. I also work, and feel that we should take turns, or at least do it together."

"Just so I understand you correctly; you would like us to do the dishes together or take turns, because the dishes are left each night, and you feel used. Is that what you are saying?"

This example is a very simple one, but you get the idea. A formula for sharing something without being confrontational, goes like this, "When (this happens), I feel (feelings). I would like (solution) to happen."

This helps identify the issues, the feelings about those issues and the possible solution/s.

This style of communication helps to focus on the problems and not the people. It stops it becoming personal and confrontational.

When you work together and talk with each other you can develop a good communication style that will help save and build your marriage or relationship, instead of tearing it down. It is worth the effort learning how to communicate with your partner, so that you can have the close, intimate relationship your heart desires.

5 Steps To Follow If You're Married But Unhappy

An unhappy marriage is not unusual and probably a lot of marriages are unhappy at some of the time. Obviously, this would vary depending on the level of happiness involved. The precise definition of married and happy or married but unhappy will vary for different couples.

As marriages mature, the definition of happiness evolves. When you were newlyweds you were probably happy just to be together and a romantic evening consisted of a quick dinner and off to the bedroom.

The longer you're married the more other interests take the place of each other. Being with each other used to be enough but with the passage of time and circumstance it becomes harder to reach a level of satisfaction. You mind is filled with thoughts of children, making the car payment or the in-laws coming over for dinner. What can be done to reignite the spark and fix an unhappy marriage?

1. Reflect On The Past Together.

If you both take time to think how it was once so you'll remember what you're missing out on. Look at old photographs to remember your past holidays and romantic breaks. Talk about how you felt then in contrast to nowadays and why you feel that you have slipped into an unhappy marriage.

2. Buy A Small Gift Which Says I Love You.

It doesn't have to be a high-priced gift. In fact, it's better if it's not. A surprise present is both a pleasure to give and be given. You don't have to wait for a specific event. It is just about showing your partner that you care for them. It's a way to say thank you for just being there. A note can mean just as much as a gift and can go a long way to help fix marriage problems. All you need to write are a few words of love.

3. Be Spontaneous.

Do something on the spur of the moment. Arrange a picnic without asking the other. They do it in the movies, so why not in the real world? Prepare a nice food basket and go to the park or spread a sheet on the floor. It's the unexpected togetherness of doing something that is important and can really help get rid of the boredom in an unhappy marriage.

4. Go Away Together.

Go on a romantic trip together. Pick a spot that you can have some fun together while getting to know your partner a little better. A trip can help eliminate stress of an unhappy marriage and allows you to be more yourself with your partner. More marriage problem signs are reported from couples who have not been on a trip together in the last six years of their relationship.

5. Talk And Listen To Each Other.

One of the best ways to fix marriage problems is to start communicating with your husband. This means not only talking about what has happened during the day at home and work but also sharing private thoughts and feelings. This is crucial for both of you even if it is difficult to do at first. It will become something both of you look forward to if given the chance.

Don't disregard these ideas believing that they won't work for you. Give them a try and be creative. It is unlikely they would make your marriage any more unhappy than it is at the moment. Begin tomorrow with a surprise morning kiss for your husband and watch their eyes light up

Thinking about regaining the status of "Happily Married"? It is possible, and is not difficult if you think it is not. But exactly how you do so? If you would like the source most couples used to revive their relationship, strengthened their marriage, regain trust and love in the marriage and not giving up then visit Secrets To A Happy Marriage

Now you can stop your divorce or lover's rejection…even if your situation seems hopeless! There are specific techniques that will show you exactly what to do and what to say to get your spouse back in your arms- Especially if you are the only one trying… Visit this Helpful Site to find out more.