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How do I Shoot my Shot & not Miss?

by Lex thornton 17 days ago in dating

Influencedbylex... | The Advice Column

Dear Lex,

How do I slide in da dms??? Without seeming desperate ofc

Sincerely,

Anonymous

__________________________

One thing you have to remember whenever you shoot you shot is that there are only one of two outcomes. The person is either going to fwy or they won't and either way, you'll be fine. I don't want to sound mean but that is the best way to think of it in order to not let your nerves get the best of you.

Now as far as a good approach to sliding in the DMs can vary because it really just depends on the person. We are all completely different, which means that we all like different things. You could always keep it simple and just hit them with the eyes emoji, hey, how are you doing, you look good or whatever. It doesn't have to be some extravagant message and usually whenever it is, the person you are trying to talk to may think that you are over doing it or coming off as "thirsty". What do I mean by an extravagant message? It could be a simple corny pick up line that may turn off the average person or it could be some long message that regardless of how sweet it is, the average person may not want to read. You usually want to keep whatever initial message that you are going to send, simple and to the point. So if you're going to take a basic approach (which can absolutely work)... just keep it simple with a hey, wyd or normal conversation starter.

Other than just sliding in the DMs with a basic conversation starter, I do think a good way to get someone to talk to you is by trying to make them laugh, smile or curious. Whenever I was in high school, I came up with the idea in my mind that if you message someone something that they will feel like they have to respond to then... they will. So I started trying to slide in the DMs in more creative ways. I would try to keep them curious by maybe saying something like "wanna hear a joke?" "was that you?" or "guess what?". If I wanted to make them laugh, maybe I would send them a funny meme or gif and if my intention was just to make them smile, I would try to send them something corny but fresh. If you're going to be corny, don't just say "Are you from Tennessee? Cause you're the only 10 I see". You have to do your best to come up with something on your own, or try and find something that if someone else did come up with, maybe the person you're talking to hasn't seen already. One time I even sent a blank contact form... and the person just sent back laughing faces and then we started talking. Sometimes its just that simple. Creativity can take you a long way.

There was this one time where someone sent me a picture of myself and I was like lol wtf? and they were like zoom in on your hand and whenever I zoomed in, it said in tiny tiny letters "Can I have your number?". I was laughing so hard because if they would have just messaged me that without the picture, I may have not even responded but it was creative and frankly, I thought it was kind of funny too. So after that we started talking.

Another way to slide into the DMs is just to come up with some sort of message specifically catered to that person. This approach won't work with everyone but it will work with some, especially the ones who would appreciate someone trying to get to know them or wanting to really get to know them. You could do this simply by messaging them something that deals with something on their social media. If they have some of their hobbies in their bio, DM them about it. So if they have "writer" in their bio, dm them and ask "what kind of writing do you do?" If you do a little simple lurking through their profile and see that once a month they eat crawfish, hit them up and say "trying to go on a crawfish date?" They'll wonder, now how did this person know that I like crawfish? They'll either be confused and a little weirded out OR they will appreciate the effort and even more... the crawfish! hahaha.

Regardless of how you slide in the DMs, you can't do it without confidence. Don't slide into someone's DMs being weird or negative and if they respond keep the conversation going with that same confidence and positive-uplifting tone.

Just be bold and go for it. The worst thing they can do is not reply. Sometimes people get afraid and say well what if I DM this person and not only do they not respond but they also show people that I DM'd them or try to expose me on the timeline, but honestly even if they does happen, it isn't always a bad thing. If someone see's that you slid into their DMs with some game, they may become interested in you and DM you theirself. And if they don't DM you, then they may at least become interested. You just never know and either way you shouldn't let the whatever outcome affect your confidence.

dating

Lex thornton

I am a mother first and above everything. I have been writing since I was in elementary school. Now I am a tarot reading, writer who works as a nail technician in her free time. I love the freedom that writing gives you.

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