Home Education

The role of the family in the growth of the individual is very important, both in the traditional Chinese culture, which emphasizes "family spirit", and in modern Western psychology, which emphasizes the shaping and development of the individual's character.

Especially for the intellectual and personality development of children, people always care about their children's intellectual development and believe that if they educate them early and comprehensively, they will "win at the starting line".

However, there are many parents who, as their children grow older, stop emphasizing the role of intelligence and start emphasizing the role of so-called "emotional intelligence" instead.

Emotional intelligence refers to where an individual's intelligence stands in comparison to others at the current age.

But many adults who are not clear about this definition, often tend to impose their understanding on their children's perceptions.

Many parents believe that "emotional intelligence" refers to the ability to interact with people in society, such as "being nice" and "reading people's minds". This, coupled with the exaggeration of various self-media, has led to a deep misunderstanding of "emotional intelligence".

IQ and EQ

The cultivation of emotional intelligence for children is very important, even more, important than the cultivation of IQ.

Harvard University behaviorist Professor Richard (Professor Richard) after a long study found that in the process of children growing up, there are three opportunities to make them smarter, namely family education, school education, and social education.

Similarly, his colleague Daniel Goleman, who also graduated from Harvard University with a degree in psychology and was editor-in-chief of The New York Times, believes that emotional intelligence is an individual trait that contributes more to people's success than IQ.

His book "Emotional Intelligence: Why Emotional Intelligence is More Important than IQ" was published in 1995 and has since been discussed.

For growing children, a high IQ may guarantee a good grade in school, but a high EQ can help them become better people with good people, a clear direction in life, and a well-rounded person.

The importance of family education goes without saying. The role of family and parents is crucial to help children pass through the period of ignorance and to help them understand the many rules of life in a guided manner during their growth.

Albert Bandura, a leading American behavioral psychologist, has devoted his life to studying the behavior of minors and family education theory. He believes that the various things that individuals experience during their growth process serve as a kind of experience that will modify their behavior and concepts later.

This influence is more evident in the surrounding environment.

In family education, the individual's life is concentrated in the "home-school" environment, so it is not necessary to mention the influence; on the other hand, children will get some feedback from their parents and use it in their own lives, i.e. On the one hand, children will get some feedback from their parents to use in their own lives, i.e. "follow the example", and on the other hand, parents' words and actions are a great influence for them.

Although both emotional intelligence and intellectual intelligence are invisible and unseen things, the power of their existence is very great.

Children's need for emotional intelligence

As mentioned above, many adults do not have a precise understanding of "emotional intelligence", they always think it is something that should be considered only by older people, for children, maybe "when they grow up, they will understand".

In fact, 3-6 years old is a critical period for the development of children's emotional intelligence, to guide them in this regard.

1. Learn to think differently in advance

After the individual reaches three years old, the growth of age will lead to language ability and expression ability gradually increasing, not as before three years old can not communicate with people, but gradually can interact with people.

For children at this time, knowing the feelings of others is a function of emotional intelligence, and this ability is very valuable, and until adulthood, this ability is also very critical, the so-called "do unto others as you would have them do unto you" is based on this quality.

The early development of children's emotional intelligence at this stage is not only beneficial for the present but also for the future.

2. Learn to express their thoughts appropriately

Although the three-year-old children can already say some words, this time the ability to express themselves is still relatively poor, often only some fragmented vocabulary to "spell out" their emotions, which is more difficult for intergenerational communication.

The other major function of emotional intelligence is actually at this time to help children learn to reasonably express their emotions, and communicate more accurately with their parents.

3. think more deeply about what they see

For children, the development of emotional intelligence can help them think more deeply about something in their lives, whether it is what they see or what they hear, and is very helpful for growth.

Measures for parents

Don't just criticize

Some people are influenced by the traditional culture of the "filial son under the stick" value, and often think that only with more criticism, and harsh education, children will be successful.

This concept is relatively radical, children in the process of growth will certainly make mistakes, at this time criticism and harshness is unjustifiable; but when they achieve some achievements, should also be praised and praised, which can help them to better development.

More communication, not "cold war"

The "cold war" no matter what kind of kinship relationship is in, is very affected by the relationship between each other.

Patience to explain, good temptation

The so-called emotional intelligence can not be separated from the individual for the understanding of everything in life, and the ability to master life.

For parents, when you and your children have some experiences together, such as taking children to some occasions, together with some parent-child activities, even when hanging out together, when you find it's for what things have no understanding, then must be timely answers, to have patience.

This way the child is likely to receive a similar mentality to learning in the middle of a long life, more conducive to the cultivation of emotional intelligence.

In short, parents, must pay attention to the cultivation of children's emotional intelligence, and be implemented it into life.