Him & Her

They saw each other passing everyday for 4 months, exchanging smiles. She would smile a little longer once they passed each other. She found him attractive, his smile was warm, his eyes were inviting and she could only imagine what his embrace felt like.

He was quiet. Would always smile at her, watch her walk away. Thinking of all the things he could say to approach her; to break the ice. He loved her smile, her laugh. He loved her confidence. His mind would race of all the things that “could be”, but he would never act on them.

He wanted to talk to her, she wanted to feel his touch. One day he said “hi!”, she responded “hi!” with a smile. He introduced himself and she did as well. He was attempting to look her in the eye, but she was so shy, she couldn’t keep eye contact with him. They both felt a gravitational pull towards each other. A pull they’d never be able to cut.

As days went by, they got to know each other. Short conversations, exchanging messages throughout the day, still exchanging smiles. His thoughts were filled her. Anticipating the next time he would see her, talk to her, get to know more about her. She could only think of how it would be to wrapped in his arms. To lay on his chest, to feel his finger tips caressing her skin. She couldn’t wait to see him again, to see is smile again. They enjoyed each other’s company, getting to know each other, realizing they had so much in common.

With all the feels they were feeling, they both knew it could stop at friendship. Both were attached. In committed relationships that neither were willing to risk it all for. Although they would talk openly about their feelings, he had a history of stepping out and didn’t want to hurt the one he was with. She couldn’t bear to think of the pain she would cause, which is why they remained friends, until they weren’t.

Over the course of 5 years, their on again-off again friendship consisted of spans of months without talking and then months of flirtatious conversation. He never took the initiative to reach out and check on her, and after years of always being the one to keep things going between them, she was tired. They once spoke of the physical, sexual things they wanted from each other. He told her how much he thinks of her, can’t get her off his mind. How he really, truly felt for her. She simply said, “I want you” This conversation would be the mail in the coffin for them.

He regretted being honest, open about how he felt. He didn’t speak to her for two days. She reached out to make sure they were ok and he, he broke her heart. In her mind he rejected her, didn’t want her and never have. He simply said, “I don’t want to be the guy I used to be. I want to be a good man to my family and I’m not. I also want to be a good friend to you.” She understood nothing would ever come of them, but those words, they sealed it. Hope left her heart. She felt broken.

She tried to main what was left of their friendship, but he became distant. Soon he stopped responding to her message and would leave her on read. She stopped all communication. Though, she didn’t do what people normally do, she didn’t block him. She knew no communication would drive hun to check on her and that’s what he does now. He won’t reach out to her, but he will watch her. He will check her social media account, he will like her selfies, he will show her he’s still there. They will always love from a distance.