Hey Stranger

This year for Thanksgiving, I’m thankful for you: the person I don’t know, standing 6 feet away from me, with smile wrinkles around your eyes, a stranger.

After I lived in New York City for a period of time, I never thought I’d include “strangers” on my list of things I’m grateful for, and definitely never thought it would be on the top of that list. After countless overcrowded subway rides with elbows jabbing into my side, I was forever done with strangers and crowds...or so I thought. Back then, I had only wanted to be with my family and friends and far away from unfamiliar faces taking up space on my morning commute. But something changed this year.

We’ve all heard a form of the quote, “There are no strangers; only friends you haven’t met” (usually attributed to the poet William Butler Yeats and oftentimes spoken by a cheesy character in a Rom-Com movie). During this year, I’ve come to believe this saying. We have been forced for so long to avoid strangers and tempted to consider them as the enemy, possibly carrying a virus, but I have come to actually miss them. Really miss them. And I have been so appreciative to the strangers that have remained kind in this uncertain time when being harsh seems to be the comfortable response.

Even 6 feet apart and with a mask on, when a stranger offers kindness, I can feel it. There have been countless times both in new or familiar places, plagued with updated rules, that I have felt like I’m doing everything wrong. I accidentally walk too close to another human, my mask slips below my nose, or I don’t understand which direction I’m now supposed to walk down the grocery aisle. Honestly, there have been times these situations have made me want to cry. It all has felt like a blockbuster sci-fi movie and I’m doing a horrible job playing the protagonist. If this is the Hunger Games, I haven’t felt like Katniss. I think we can all identify with having felt this way at some point during the Covid-19 pandemic: uncertain, scared and out of control.

Yes, there have been some strangers who have yelled at me and judged my mistakes, but I have not found that to be the majority. Oftentimes, I have come across strangers who look at me with crinkled eyes, and I know that underneath their mask, they are smiling, letting me know that it’s okay if I make a mistake, we are all trying our best. In those moments, a stranger becomes a friend.

As humans, we need strangers. The full human experience includes the people in the checkout line that we make eye contact with when something funny happens. Though we will never see them again, an inside joke is shared that no one else will understand. Strangers are a significant part of our days and ultimately, contribute to the painting of our life. Each person is a different piece of the tile which create life’s beautiful mosaic. I love my family and friends, and there’s no one else I’d rather be with during the holidays, but how boring life would be if I only ever saw them! I would continue in my cycle of what I already know. Strangers teach me new things. They expand my horizon and remind me that my way of doing things is not always be the best way.

Although we are unable to communicate right now through human touch, such as handshakes or taps on shoulders, I’ve noticed that strangers have begun to develop a new language of human kindness. Preferring one another in line at the store, laughing muffled underneath masks, or simply shrugging shoulders in shared moments of uncertainty are examples of new ways communication and connection is occurring between strangers. Kindness between humans, even complete strangers, can never be silenced. It will always find new avenues of communication.

So, this year on Thanksgiving, as I’m sitting with my family around a table filled with turkey and homemade dishes, I’m sure I will surprise everyone when I say, “I’m thankful for strangers. For all the people who are not sitting around this table. The ones I walked past years ago and the ones I will come across in the future. The ones I will make brief eye contact with and the ones with whom I will share a smile (masked or unmasked). These unnamed friends add to the beauty of life and help make my days feel human.”