Heck, I love you

What up.

As you're on your couch snuggling with your cat, who is either reluctant to snuggle or has already run away, I know you're blushing.

Before I start gushing about how great you are, Lauren, I need to clarify to anyone else reading this that I'm not talking about myself in the third person. I have friends; one happens to have the same name as me. Instead of LEG (my initials), she's LAJ. A bit similar, but different.

Just like us. (Back to talking to you, Lauren).

It seems cliche and false to say you were always there for me because you weren't. You couldn't be. With your health problems and my health problems out friendship grew, in many ways, because we couldn't physically be there for each other.

But the beauty of a friendship like ours is that we both get it. There is no guilt of a last-minute cancellation or frustration of not scheduling a rain-check.

Who would have thought that Twitter, of all places, was the thing that brought us together? The internet is full of garbage, but you're in my life because of it.

It's been almost 10 years; I know neither of us can believe it. When we met, prom was in the not so distant future for you, and a year away for me. We didn't go prom dress shopping together, but both of our dresses were short cocktail dresses instead of long gowns.

And now, 10 years later, the dresses have gotten longer, but we've stayed the same height. The fact that I couldn't stand beside you when you got married sucks. COVID-19 has taken away a lot, and me wearing a purple bridesmaid's dress is probably far down the list of grievances but, you got married anyway.

Also, holy shit, you got married. Next year, after I get around to hemming that super long gown, we're going to celebrate. Me in my dress, you in your floofy dress, at least this way you get to wear your wedding dress twice.

Holy shit, twin, you're married.

We joke about being twins; even your mother thinks that we're eerily similar. It's the little things, each of us dating a guy with the initials TJ while working at bakeries while waiting for a procedure that would help our chronic health conditions. Our dress tastes, the fact that your lactose intolerance means you can't eat cheese, but any other form dairy is okay, but my lactose intolerance means that I can eat cheese, but any other form dairy is not okay.

If I ever get married, I will choose an equally long gown in an equally faded, trendy yet timeless pastel shade for you to wear. My dress probably won't be a floofy, and I'll probably spill wine on it, but heck. That's probably going to happen to my bridesmaid dress anyway.

If I had to describe to us as two cats on the internet that would go at least semi-viral, you would be a disgruntled, but resigned cat with the caption "heck," and I would be a raggedy stray cat with wide eyes and a gaping mouth; like the demonic seagull with laser eyes. At the end of the day though, we'd both just be cats who napped.

We'd be those weird but adorable pets the internet loves cause they're slightly ugly and insane.

We joke about it constantly, but I genuinely believe you are my perfect opposite. Somewhere, there is another universe missing a Lauren because we're both in this one. I think you belong here, honestly.

I can't count how many times I wanted to disappear, fall asleep and not wake up, leave, and go somewhere. But you're here, so why would I go?