Happiness After Betrayal

Betrayal

Betrayal hurts. It don’t just hurt you, most times it scars you as well, and leaves you with a feeling of mistrust.

I’ve tried that. I had a boyfriend for almost a year whom I loved, so much. I had a dream of growing old with this guy, starting a family and just sharing a future together.

I was already off birth control before we hit the 6-month mark of the relationship, that’s how serious I was about this guy. Sure, we argued and had some fights, but I truly believed that we got stronger after each one of those arguments or fights, and still stuck with each other.

That’s not how it was supposed to go. You see, he was a DJ at a nightclub, I worked in the same nightclub but I was the girl who watched your jacket for the entire night, so I wasn’t a part of what happened near the dance floor. We talked about how flirting with the guests was part of our jobs, and we agreed on this.

Looking back, he was the one actually flirting, I was just polite. For a long time, I didn’t think much of it, until I kept getting calls from an unknown caller. I declined most of them, until I couldn’t keep my curiosity down. I answered it, and on the other end was a girl asking if I was dating this guy. I hung up. He had previously talked about an ex who just wasn’t over him.

Thinking it was her, I had my number changed and tried to keep her out of my mind, but she kept popping up.

After that, we argued about her, a lot. He threatened to leave me and I begged for him to stay. He manipulated me time after time and I didn’t see that.

Then we had a few good weeks with no fights or arguments, we were the perfect couple and it was so nice, especially since we were approaching my birthday. My birthday was great, we met with my family for dinner and I was happy.

He then left a few days later to go to work in a town a few hours away. I had another job besides the night club so that’s where I spent my evening that night.

Suddenly, I got a message on Facebook from someone I didn’t know, I always read them, even if it’s just spam. I opened it and read the message. It was from the girl who was allegedly his ex, she was texting from a friends phone because she really needed to talk to me.

She explained that she was his fiancée and they had been together for almost 2 years. I was in disbelief and I think she could tell, because she asked about some presents he had gotten for Christmas with his family. Those presents was from her, and they were in my home.

My whole relationship had been a lie. I had seen all the red flags and I ignored them. I ended it with the guy and threw him out of my home.

I was now left with a confidence near nonexistent, my trust was gone, and I now felt completely alone.

New Beginnings

Now, fast forward 6 months. One of my best friends text me saying that her boyfriend gave my name to one of his friends.

I have always been one to take chances, so I didn’t tell her no, instead I asked for a picture and she got one of me to send to him.

We started chatting online and just getting to know each other a little bit. It only took about a week for him to ask if I wanted to meet up. Again, I’m not scared to take chances, and this chance meant that either we just didn’t click and that would be it or it could be something great.

I said yes, we met up on a Saturday and it was very convenient because our mutual friends was having him and some other friends over, so I wouldn’t be all on my own with him and it would be less awkward.

At some point during the evening, the other friends left so it was just me and him and our mutual friends. We went out and got some drinks and at some point, he kissed me.

Some might say, “Oh, but you barely know the guy, why would you let him kiss you before you even know him?”

I didn’t stop the kiss, because once again, I’m all about taking chances, and a kiss doesn’t mean that we’re a couple or committed to one another.

In my opinion we clicked instantly, he is very talkative and I’m more of the listening type so it works out great.

The evening ended great, we had a nice time and we agreed to see each other again.

It’s now been 2 weeks or so since I met this guy for the very first time and since that Saturday we have been seeing each other on the weekends and even in the weekdays, we are both very opinionated people so that gives a lot of friendly discussions about life. We have talked about our families, friends and also about the hard times we’ve both had.

Being able to talk to him about my struggles and about how I’ve been treated in the past has given me a new type of trust.

Maybe it won’t be forever, but what we have right now seems so right, and I hope we last a long time. We aren’t a couple, but I think we have agreed that we only see each other and no one else, without actually saying the words. Sometimes you can tell that just from the way a person looks at you.